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The awkward part of being in a same gender relationship- means you sometimes meet in bathrooms!
In update news I’m off to Norway (BANZAICON WHOOO) this Thursday so I won’t be back to livestream until next Thursday morning. After that Khaos updates will be 4 a week until I finish all the promised side stories. This is because Shades of A is on hiatus while the internet decides it’s fate over here:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/khaoskreator/get-shades-of-a-printed-and-add-another-year-of-up
Oh Kelly…oh darling… <3
perfect comment ~ i completely agree. Oh Kelly! *hugs* <3
Woah wait… does this mean Kelly’s never had an orgasm from someone else? Or so rarely as to be as well never? I feel you there, it used to be difficult headspace to get into, especially when you’re worried about how long its taking and worried the other person must be bored.
oh jeez poor Kelly :( how many crap encounters has she had that she thinks asking for an orgasm is a big favor? aaagh that’s so sad
I don’t know. Its usually difficult for me to come in any sort of timely fashion when i’m with someone else so I often don’t but my encounters can still be really hot. Good sex doesn’t have to be orgasm focused.
That said, i do relate to the complexity of Kelly’s words on this page. It tends to make things worse when people draw attention to the fact that i dont tend to orgasm, or act like it must mean that there is something wrong with me. I also really do want to climax with people sometimes and the fear of boring someone in bed is super present for me.
Anyway, thanks Tab, great story.
Exactly! I don’t have to have an orgasm to enou sex, and orgasms can be kinda difficult for me. But if my partner makes a big deal out of needing to ‘make [me] come’ that’s a HUGE red flag for me.
There’s a world of difference between wanting your partner to enjoy them self and get off, and wanting to ‘make’ your partner orgasm, and getting frustrated with them if it doesn’t happen.
A lot of people are under the impression that you can’t really enjoy sex without an orgasm.
yeah, but Kelly clearly WANTS to have an orgasm…
Yep, and this comes off more like she really wanted someone to make the effort and wasn’t sure if anyone would bother. Seems like a different situation.
Whoa, this almost made me cry. I have no idea why.
Oh man that is depressing.
Oh Kelly. *hugs*
So… I feel like an idiot, but I have no idea what Ronnie said that was “a shit thing to say.”
Could someone please explain?
It was on the previous page: “How can you have sex you like when you’re only trying to please the other person?”
In this case it means that Kelly feels it’s her responsibility to make sure that the people she sleeps with have a good time, but she completely forgoes her own wishes and it’s not something that makes her happy. (As opposed to people that enjoy stuff like orgasm denial, being bossed around and being on top.)
Kelly probably thinks it’s “a shit thing to say” because it’s painfully accurate and she feels vulnerable when confronted with it. (I’m not terribly sure on this, but that’s the vibe I’m getting.)
I think maybe she felt like Ronnie was psychoanalysing her and offering unsolicited advice, or that Ronnie was being hypocritical as she was willing to have sex with Kelly and then lecture her (‘you weren’t complaining’) But I’m also just guessing. Not saying that Ronnie actually was doing either of those, just that that’s how it might have come across.
“Awkward”? I think you mean “awesome”. ;)
The sad thing is I know a girl just like her. Only difference is the girl i’m talking about has so far been unable to give herself an orgasm no matter how hard or for how long she’s tried. I’m hoping that it isn’t a medical issue and that someday we can find her soneone or something to rectify that. If not I’ll be even more unhappy then I already am. Hopefully Kelly is able to as well.
erm… may I suggest a round, spinning, vibrating electric toothbrush head direct to the head of the clitoris? May want to put a towel down ///-_-///
I imagine the lass has probably tried that already. The truth is some people can just find it difficult to come, perhaps because of medical causes (which includes psychological/emotional trauma reasons, as is the case with a friend of mine) or for no good reason at all. It’s a little insensitive to suggest that they just haven’t tried hard enough.
The good news is that you can get lots of help with difficulty reaching climax, though it may mean addressing underlying issues if present.
She’s been through the wringer and it’s caused her some grief and anxiety because of it. She’s in no way abnormal but she certainly feels like it and not being able to do much else to help, besides being a confidant and advice tree, breaks my heart.
Aww, poor lass. :( There is help out there, should she want it! My friend is exactly the same, though she’s not particularly bothered about it and enjoys sex anyway (it upsets her partner more so).
Or maybe a sex toy that is meant to be used as such?
Usually preferrable
I’m AFAB, and had similar issues for years. I had my first orgs at age 23, and my first with a partner a year after that. It didn’t stop me from having really enjoyable sex, but it was kinda frustrating. Especially when people made a big deal out of it in ways that sometimes made me really uncomfortable.
Anyway, while there may be a medical issue, it may also just be a matter of time. Some AFAB people have to sort of ‘grow into’ the ability to orgasm, and if you’re a late bloomer, nothing is really gonna change that.
It could also be that your friend hasn’t tried the exact right combination of physical/mental/emotional stimulation yet. Some people’s bodies can be absurdly specific and picky about what it takes to cause an orgasm.
In the mean time, please encourage your friend to remember, orgasms don’t have to be the be-all-end-all definition of good sex!
Pleasing my partner could never be boring to me. <3
I would say not but if you come extremely quickly and your partner takes a long time sometimes you just get very far away from feeling horny and can’t help thinking “geez how much longer is this going to take?” Even if you’re not “fucking” in the traditional sense anymore (cause ow, chaffing much) it can get a bit boring. By you keep that to yourself until you’re at a point in your relationship where you can go “I find you sexy and I want you to finished but I’m literally falling asleep. Do you mind if I go to another room/fall asleep while you finish?” If that happens though I always provide either porn or me naked as a aid to that effect. Basically I’m saying people can legitimately get bored, it’s how they treat their partner afterwards that matters. (Also for the record I always make sure to apologize for my lack of attention span. After all it’s my “problem” not his.)
Oh Kelly… *wraps in blanket and feeds hot cocoa*
Ronnie, you best take care of our girl~
All the feels on this page…
Also, DANG but I love Ronnie’s hair!
oh gods, the feels, right in the heart.
This touches so close to home because it is exactly what I want but have never had.
an ex partner once asked me for permission to cum (we ddint have a kinky dynamic) – i wasrealy surprised because they hadnt asked permission before, that was untill i realised they had been holding back wanting to please me as much as they could first. of course i said yes instantly but remembering that moment just reminds me how important some people find it to put the other persons pleasure first. for whatever reason…
I’m glad this page shows the other side of it all
other being side of the person who feels that their orgasm isnt garentied or is a favour or has to be asked for i mean.
wait so dos this mean that she’s never had an orgasm or at least not one with another person. i get that some people like to please others and they get off on that but jesus not a single orgasm. and it’s not like kelly doesn’t have sex because she does but in all that time in all those encounters she’s never had a orgasm once