Shades Of A 113
Oh snap.
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A collection of Queer LGBT* Comics by Tab Kimpton
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That’s cute ^_^
I always though the flash backs were taking place a couple years ago, not, like, 6 months. IDK why, tho.
Yeah, I’m wondering if Medomai is supposed to be a clue as to the date of events for the MtG savvy, or whether Tab just picked any old card (soz Tab, you’re getting a lot of flack for your lack of MtG knowledge :P)
In other news, I showed this page to my boyfriend and his response was “Eh, it’s not even a money card.” I think he missed the point…
That was pretty much my reaction (longtime lurker here). It’s not even a dollar rare! :( This and the completely nonsensical “splash black deck” from earlier in the comic make me cringe a little bit. OH WELL. Hopefully Anwar isn’t as critical of magic card presents as the people commenting on his story!
I bet that he isn’t. I play Pokémon cards, and the Gothita that my cousin let me have is more precious than my full-page Reshiram EX.
Maybe it’s foil. Everyone likes shiny cards! And it’s thoughtful (even if winning a single card from another player isn’t really a thing that happens. It works for the story so it’s fine <3)
I play MTG heavily. I buy and sell my cards all the time. The only cards I’ll never sell are the ones that my friends gifted me, my personal favorites, or ones I’ve won in tournaments. Everything else is fair game.
Also, foil cards are so pretty but some are hilarious in pricing. Some uncommon/common cards that are worth $.25 ‘normal’ could be worth $5 foil. *done nerding out and goes back to lurking*
That’s a great present. Maybe JD should have given that to him from the start instead of trying to pressure Anwar into sex again the minute they walked in the door despite Anwar’s continued withdrawn body language and hints. It’s not like that kind of behavior from JD could possibly lead a confused and scared Anwar into thinking JD only cared about the sexual aspect of their relationship (even though that isn’t true).
Since Anwar has lied through his teeth to JD all this time, whatever body language Anwar displayed could have been attributed to shyness IMO. My heart hurts even more for JD; she was blindsided at such a vulnerable moment when Anwar finally decided to be honest. It will be interesting to see how a friendship was salvaged from this train wreck.
I agree. I feel bad for them both. I know it’s born out of insecurity for them both, but both of them haven’t treated each other very well thus far. JD’s insecurity makes them blame themselves though while Anwar’s made him blame JD. So I think JD might have gotten the short end of the stick in that exchange.
I really, for the life of me, cannot understand where people are getting this idea that Anwar “lied through his teeth to JD” or that he was “deliberately deceptive.” Are those who believe this saying that they have never once withheld any part of the 100% full and complete truth from a partner or friend? Or that they expect every person (and every character) to tell significant others in their lives all of their deep seated emotions (including ones that may be wrapped in self-loathing and fear)? There is a big difference, in my opinion, between “lying” (especially “through one’s teeth”) and omitting certain aspects of something (often for self-preservation or to save others from pain). Not once in all of these flashbacks have I seen Anwar give enthusiastic consent, ask to have sex because he wanted it, ask JD to help him achieve orgasm, or even say that he likes sex. It’s true he hasn’t said that he doesn’t particularly like sex, but honestly, if simply not telling someone all of your feelings (that you know could really hurt them…as shown by JD’s initial reaction to learning that Anwar is not a fan of sex) is the same as “lying through your teeth” then I’d say most human beings are guilty of this same level of lying.
Also, I think even a shy person who otherwise might enjoy/want sex probably would not have found JD’s gift of sex particularly thoughtful or understanding of their situation. It would still have the same amount of pressure attached to it. You can’t simply force a shy person to suddenly open up to a new (and potentially scary) experience, especially without even confirming that opening up to that experience is something they really want. I don’t believe Anwar lied in these flashbacks, except through omission. And if through omission is a lie in its own right then I believe JD is also guilty of it. They clearly believe Anwar is “shy” about sex and they are clearly aware that he has not expressed direct interest in sex but they have not had an open and honest conversation with Anwar about these things. Instead they assumed that Anwar must want/need sex and that offering it to him would be a great idea for a birthday present. I’m not saying I don’t see where JD was coming from there, but JD missed many opportunities to communicate honestly with Anwar about their own feelings about his “shyness,” to check in with Anwar about his feelings about sex, and to seek enthusiastic consent (versus simply not saying “no” or just going along with sex). Also, this page directly sates that JD told an actual lie to Anwar (they said they ebayed their prize when they obviously did not), whereas I’ve never seen Anwar directly lie to them in these flashbacks. Food for thought…
On the Sept 12 panel Anwar stated “I spent most of my time with JD lying through my teeth so they would like me”. The comic may not have shown us him lying, but if Anwar says he did, he did. Unless he was lying about lying. :)
Also, the only scene I’ve seen of someone being pressured is Anwar pressuring Chris (who Anwar knew was straight) to have anal sex. As a submissive, Chris reluctantly agreeing is not surprising. But Chris showed no enthusiastic consent or indication that he wanted to have sex with a man.
JD offered themself to Anwar because they believed it would be welcome because Anwar had lied to them throughout their relationship. Anwar had reasons for his behavior and I feel bad for his struggles. But that does not excuse hurting someone who has offered their trust and affection.
As for JD lying about the disk, I would guess they did so because they planned to give it back to Anwar all along. Just my interpretation, of course, as we are not given any more info from the comic.
Ummmm…. I’m just going to add that 1st person narratives are inherently “deceptive.” I don’t think ‘war *lied* about lying so much as it is entirely possible that *he* believes he lied because he didn’t tell them the full truth until later. In what we are actually *shown* (instead of told by ‘war who, let’s admit it, has some self-esteem issues) I don’t remember any lying. Failure to communicate isn’t lying (especially when it’s a hard truth that you might not even really understand yourself), and what we’ve SEEN has been that. But I’d bet that ‘war feels like he *did* lie because he didn’t share it with JD immediately.
THIS! Everything TheDeviantE said is exactly what I’ve been trying to communicate/explain. First person narratives are inherently biased and when Anwar feels down on himself (which we know he does a lot of the time when it involves sex and, currently, relationships) he is likely to be hard on himself in his narration of the story. It’s even possible JD at some point accused him of “lying through his teeth” or just lying in general and he accepted that it must have been true because he thinks he’s a terrible person since he doesn’t want sex. My point is if we look a little more objectively at what we’ve actually seen, Anwar is simply failing to communicate, NOT lying. There is a difference and it’s an important one. Basically if failure to communicate IS lying, then JD has also been lying throughout this relationship because they knew something was up (and admitted Anwar was “shy” about sex) but there was no communication coming from either end of this relationship until a couple pages ago.
I do now understand where the exact language of “lying through his teeth” came from though. But other people have called him “deliberately deceptive” and other things I know he did not say, so in general I still feel people are being needlessly hard on him.
I’ve never lied to anyone I care about, but that’s probably because I have mild Autism, and I tend to blurt everything when I first meet people. Medical problem, kink, allergic, phobia, random thought? Yup, they get a dang thesis paper from me about it when any sign of a potential close connection pops up.
Of course…It’s probably also because my parents’ relationship fell apart when I was little because of lying and self-loathing and it ended up killing one of them and plunging the other into lifelong alcoholism to the point that I still make sure one goes to sleep and wakes up on time, and doesn’t leave fires lit and ovens turned on.
When I meet someone and they come to show affection for me, I try to tell them absolutely everything immediately no matter what and if they’re overwhelmed, they’ll probably not have wanted to deal with me later.
Of course, I’m not defending either character. I think both JD and Anwar are messed up and that, at that point in their lives, it was fairly disrespectful for either of them to engage in a romantic relationship with another person while knowing how messed up they were, and how their issues could potentially harm or malign the person they might love.
If you hate yourself, you can’t love other people easily. It’s a good idea to work on self love first, as far as I’ve been told. Eh.
As a note, if it seems rude of me to consider people engaging in a relationship ‘disrespectful’, I probably meant no harm. It’s taken me nearly a decade to try to look at relationships with human beings as more than emotional experiments with a certain number of potential positive and negative variable-reliant outcomes. To a point, I still don’t understand WHY people don’t tell everyone everything about each-other immediately upon the beginning of a committed romantic partnership, because…you know, if you’re signing a contract, shouldn’t you read it first? If you sign up without knowing what you agreed to, you’re going to be in for some potentially upsetting and scary surprises.
I don’t know……it just seems easier to tell a person immediately than it is to tell them later, when it could hurt them worse because they assumed they knew you when they truly didn’t. My girlfriend of five years has been really good for me in a lot of ways, so I understand that most people are more scared of telling people immediately than them finding out later…
…I would just rather know in the present if I’m going to be hurt in the future than think I was fine and get spontaneously injured. Spontaneity freaks the everloving heck out of me. :(
lisa264544: JD’s a “they”, even though they’re referred to as a “she” in these flashbacks. Present always takes precedence over past.
I am aware of that JD is a they, which I normally use ,as you will notice in other comments I make. It was a typo, probably because I had just read Anwar call JD her. Is an apology needed since I was unable to go back and correct the typo?
I’d say no apology needed… these things happen and you ackowledged the mistake. Not trying to speak on behalf of anyone else though.
Yeah, Anwar, now don’t you feel like a shithead?
Oh my god the tears TT__TT
Tab has a trope of pop culture always existing concurrent to our time regardless of comic time. In Khaos they go on one date to a movie release and the next week they go to a movie that came out eight years later.
Yes, this! This is what I was thinking when people noted above that this Magic card is apparently current/new (since that’s not something I would have known on my own). I’m pretty sure these flashbacks had to have happened at least a year ago, so either the “present” of the comic is really our future or Tab is just doing the usual “throw in a random current pop reference to confuse everyone” thing. I actually really do appreciate that whole concept, but I bet it made that timeline Tab had to make for Khaos pretty difficult/ridiculous.
Didn’t affect it at all, actually.
Plus, the comic in which their first card game takes place, where JD won that card, was put on this site in May 2013, months before that card was ever printed. I think it was just a random choice.
Oh, you poor sod.
The pair of you. :(
Go on, Anwar… give them a call. You both need to do some serious talking.
Maybe it’s me, but if my ex-boyfriend, who just shat on my heart earlier that day, were to call me I would most likely not answer. But then again, that’s me.
It’s kind of clear that eventually they do talk about it later on though.
Hmmm, hadn’t thought of it like that. True enough.
Not sure what I’d do either.
o.O
At least, yes, we know they sorted it out somehow, since this is a flashback.
Is it strange I’d be willing to pick up just to see how deep my ex could dig the hole he/she was already in?
Sorry, if I’m very upset with someone then watching them make fools of themselves is quite entertaining. If I never stop being upset with them, I start ignoring them. If I stop being upset, then they get some sympathy later and a “not gonna do that again, yeah?” But that’s just me.
Nah, it’s not strange. People react differently. It’d make sense if JD responded or not if Anwar called later on that same day.
Way to stick your foot in your mouth, ‘War. Good gravy, man.
10 Things I Hate About You…NICE CHOICE, JD!
Huggles Anwar. Everything will be okay. <3
Oh man, Anwar… The flashbacks just seem to get painful the more it’s remembered :(
The Anwar hate is really getting to me. Almost to the point where I don’t want to read the comic any more. I identify a lot with Anwar, and on a certain level, so when I see people hating on him, it kind of feels as though they’re hating on me. Up to this point, I’ve loved how open and loving the people on this comic are.
Anwar is being pretty emotionally abusive in the last few pages. Regardless of his internal struggle, I think people are just upset that he’s being abusive and hope that he eventually recognizes what he’s doing as such. We all struggle with our own issues, but it doesn’t give us carte blanche to treat others cruelly.
That’s not to say we don’t all make mistakes and blow up when we’re upset/angry/insecure, but when confronted with it, it’s important that we recognize how we have hurt people, acknowledge why they are hurt, and fix the situation, if possible.
Up to this point, Anwar has been acting pretty contemptuous towards JD, and it seems like he’s rationalizing his behavior with thoughts like “it’s probably porn,” trying to paint JD as the selfish bad guy who deserved being accused/given the boot. With this romantic comedy DVD/Magic card revelation, he’ll probably realize what he did and feel the same anger towards himself that other people in the comment section are feeling towards him, plus guilt, because he did an unnecessary mean thing that left the most important person in his life feeling pretty shitty. I don’t think anybody wants to justify that mean thing because he was hurting inside himself. His pain makes his actions understandable and forgivable if he apologizes–but still a thing to be angry over until resolved.
I’m sure people will change their tune/breathe a sigh of relief as Anwar backpedals and makes amends with JD.
(Meant to post this in response to Hekate Lesedi but hit post instead of reply. Feel free to delete the duplicate comment below.)
I honestly think a lot of people completely overlook JD’s mistakes in the relationship (such as never getting enthusiastic consent) and I think it has a lot to do with the cultural normativity of being verisexual (rather than asexual). I think many readers here cannot relate to Anwar in that way so a lot of people are jumping on the “Blame Anwar” bandwagon and I think all this does is more profoundly hurt those of us who can identify with him. Because the fact is, a lot of what is being considered “wrong” or “bad” that Anwar has done is very relatable to many asexual, demisexual, and gray-A people here. I think one of the biggest concerns I have is that people have been accusing Anwar right and left of being (purposefully) deceitful, lying, and in general basically “tricking” JD into having a relationship with him. The lack of communication on his end (not saying that he doesn’t in fact love sex), especially when he doesn’t yet understand his identity as an asexual person, is NOT the same as deceit, lying, or trickery. Yet people confound those terms, possibly because they cannot relate to him but can to JD. So in identifying with JD, people throw Anwar under the bus. And by doing that, they really hurt other readers who do identify with him.
Honestly, I personally cannot fathom why people give JD so much of a pass here. It is, in my opinion, very hard if not impossible to have sex with someone who does not particularly enjoy it (for whatever reason) and to not realize it at all. Anwar didn’t seem to hide it that well, and JD at least knew he was “shy” about sex. It was JD’s responsibility too, as the person typically suggesting/instigating sex, to obtain Anwar’s enthusiastic consent and to check in about the fact that Anwar didn’t seem to enjoy it all of the time. Even if he was just “shy,” that still means some parts of what they were doing probably weren’t as pleasant for him as they could have been. Rather than offer to do whatever sexual things he wants, JD should have opened a dialogue with Anwar about this. Yes, Anwar had responsibility for doing this too, but as the person more comfortable with (and probably most often instigating) sex, I expect more of JD in this area.
Anwar is being pretty emotionally abusive in the last few pages. Regardless of his internal struggle, I think people are just upset that he’s being abusive and hope that he eventually recognizes what he’s doing as such. We all struggle with our own issues, but it doesn’t give us carte blanche to treat others cruelly.
That’s not to say we don’t all make mistakes and blow up when we’re upset/angry/insecure, but when confronted with it, it’s important that we recognize how we have hurt people, acknowledge why they are hurt, and fix the situation, if possible.
Up to this point, Anwar has been acting pretty contemptuous towards JD, and it seems like he’s rationalizing his behavior with thoughts like “it’s probably porn,” trying to paint JD as the selfish bad guy who deserved being accused/given the boot. With this romantic comedy DVD/Magic card revelation, he’ll probably realize what he did and feel the same anger towards himself that other people in the comment section are feeling towards him, plus guilt, because he did an unnecessary mean thing that left the most important person in his life feeling pretty shitty. I don’t think anybody wants to justify that mean thing because he was hurting inside himself. His pain makes his actions understandable and forgivable if he apologizes–but still a thing to be angry over until resolved.
I’m sure people will change their tune/breathe a sigh of relief as Anwar backpedals and makes amends with JD.
Does Anwar mistakenly refer to JD with “her” and “she” pronouns in panel three, or am I missing something?
OH NOOOOOOOOO 10 THINGS OH NO THEY COULD HAVE HAD A CUTE TIME WATCHING IT TOGETHER
Wait a second, why is he suddenly misgendering them? Count me confused.
And, I’d missed the fact that we’re still in a flashback. This is why I shouldn’t be reading this at 4:00 in the morning on the timezone my body is still on after a twenty hour travel day, but it’s so good…
In which Anwar realizes that he made mistakes in his haste