Shades Of A 035
Back from Expo! I met so many lovely people, thank you everyone that stopped by.
Anwar may be a good blog writer, but in person I feel that his story telling technique leaves much to be desired. I shall give him a break as he’s clearly too emotionally involved to stop saying ‘like’.
FYI guys- it’s been explicitly stated in the comic that JD is a they. While they’re a fictional character it’s still just as important to respect pronouns as it is with any other person.
This is relevant today as JD’s just chilling in their underwear, playing games and not wearing a binder. This means they have (gasp) visible boobs. But they’re still a they, the same way as a man in a dress is still a he.
More JD and Anwar back-story plz. <3 Also, JD in panel two made me love them even more. ^.^
Seconding this, backstory yes please! Don’t tease us! But I do like that they are still friends despite whatever they went through, even if it is still painful sometimes.
Thirding this! I already have a little crush on JD^^
Fourthing this: I’m a sucker for backplot. I’ll want some from Chris too dont’cha’know! :P
Also would be loving a backstory on these two. Shoot—JD could have their own spinoff! :)
The second panel made me giggle a little too much. Probably because I’ve stayed up until after six in the morning, so I’ll claim sleep deprivation and not craziness. But also, OUCH, poor JD. I would imagine that kind of serious binding would be…uncomfortable to say the least. ((Speculating, as I’ve no experience with this, nor do I personally know anyone with experience well enough to ask them about something so personal.))
I have smaller ones than JD, and I’ve attempted it once and jesus fuck it is not comfortable at all. :/
Eh, I’m a D cup and binding doesn’t bother me at all. Then again, when I bind, it’s because I have pretty bad dysphoria, so maybe discomfort from binder<discomfort from dysphoria. But I also just think that my binder is super comfy because it only feels a little tighter than my sports bras.
I was a G cup before I transitioned and interestingly enough it isn’t the squishing of the breast tissue that causes the pain for me. The issue I have is that the binder tends to roll up and create a rubber band effect. That tends to hurt my back and a bit on my ribs. I’m sure this isn’t an issue for everyone, but as I’m shaped quite a bit like JD I can imagine they probably run into the same issues.
It might be the type of binder. I have an FtM friend who recommended a good one for me, and it’s indeed only a tad tighter than a sports bra, and doesn’t roll up at all. Maybe you can find a better one? I’ve seen ones that are longer as well, that might be a solution. My FtM friend has the type of binder as I have, and they’re shaped pretty much like JD. The best ones he has give him no problems at all.
The only problem I personally have is that I’m quite skinny and cup C, so there’s still breast like lumps there…. And I love to wear feminine clothes, so yeah, not helping that either >.>
I only do binding occasionally for cosplay, but that’s been my experience with it too. It doesn’t start out terribly uncomfortable, my boobs can handle being squished, but by the end of the day my back is seriously killing me.
This (and every other binder comment I’ve ever seen) makes me so glad I’m a trans woman. No binding, just growth (though I am starting to have issues with doors, etc. hitting my breasts in just the right way to cause pain :/ Stupid f’n doors…)
I’m sorry, this made me giggle as I thought it was very cute.
So glad I’m not the only one. I really apologise but I can just imagine this in a comic strip. [door opens, lady walks through] [door ricochets off wall and hits lady] [door ripped off hinges, lady walking off with small cloud over head and symbols from mouth symbolising discontent]
Hehe, don’t worry about it- my girlfriend makes fun of me enough for it, it rarely bothers me (well, in the moment, it hurts like hell, but that lasts for a split second).
I also would love to see this in a strip. (Does that mean I get my own cameo? XD)
^_^ Someone thinks I’m cute! -little squee-
I’m on the masculine side of non-binary, and I have a small bust, but when it gets to be “that time,” OW. I totally feel your pain. Hopefully you don’t have cats that like to walk on your chest like I do. >.<
Try to fold your binder again on your chest and put some safety pin to help it stay like that. It’s really better, even with a small binder (like the “underwork”, short version)
It’ll prevent it to roll up and add more compression to your chest.
Definitely said goodbye to my long underwork when I realised the short one was a lot more comfortable (the rolling up killed my back and ribs too..)
Hope it helps :)
Try to fold your binder again on your chest and put some safety pin to help it stay like that. It’s really better, even with a small binder (like the “underwork”, short version)
It’ll prevent it to roll up and add more compression to your chest.
Definitely said goodbye to my long underwork when I realised the short one was a lot more comfortable (the rolling up killed my back and ribs too..)
Hope it helps :)
***Provided that that’s how said “man in a dress” identifies.
Well, if that’s not how the man in a dress identifies, Tab wouldn’t call them a man in a dress, so that disclaimer should be unnecessary. (And I hope everyone here has enough context to get that. In fact, this page on its own provides enough context to get that.)
TRiG.
To be honest, I did not notice that JD was not in a binder.
Ditto. I didn’t even notice the boobs.
While JD is certainly a they now, is it still incorrect to use female pronouns for JD in the flashback strips, when they appear to identify as female? I imagine that was why people were calling them “she” in the comments on those strips…
Yes, it’s inappropriate. Consider the way that media portrayals so frequently (and disrespectfully) refer to trans* people as their former presumed identity in pre-transition segments: the reason they do this is to spin a story, nothing else.
I am a female-to-male transgender person who had a happy childhood identifying as a little girl. I urge you to consider your answer respectful and perhaps even common, but not universal.
I’m a genderqueer person and I’d be okay with having feminine pronouns in the past because while I never was 100% aokay with IDing as a girl/woman, it was all I knew and who I was. It feels completely incorrect to refer to past!me as anything other than she/her. That’s just my experience and by no means is it universal.
As someone with a very similar basic experience, my stance for myself is the same.
I dunno, I’ll have to call this a “it varies” thing. I mean… I’m a transman, but I didn’t grow up as a boy. I grew up being very much forced to live and act as a female, so I refer to that time as “living as female”. I wouldn’t refer to myself AS female back then- only living as female- but it would be more bizarre to hear someone who knew I was trans refer to my childhood as growing up as a little boy. I never had that option or that experience, it was very much an experience of being treated and forced to pretend to be female.
I would say that (based solely on my own experiences) referring to them as either “living as birth gender” or “identifying as identified gender” (as appropriate) would be more correct than just outright referring to them by their identified gender, if they very much grew up as living as their birth gender. Yes, they identified as a different gender, but their experience is of the gender they were forced to pretend to be; from my experience, and the point of view formed by that experience, neither term is really right.
Of course, that’s MY point of view based on MY experience. So… Yeah, there’s no totally right or wrong answer, it varies according to individual, and we don’t know how JD considers their past. Maybe they always saw themselves as a “they”; or maybe they were very much forced to live as a “she” before they understood themself better, and that shaped their early experiences.
If in doubt, use the most respectful term; which would be the term of gender identity. But I would say it’s something that varies for each person.
Just wanted to throw in my rambly thoughts and experience.
Huh. Do Anwar and JD live together or does JD just keep their door unlocked?
Well, since Anwar just walked into JD’s bedroom, but JD’s first response doesn’t strike me as the sort of greeting one gives a housemate (plus there’s been no indication of them sharing a house or flat), my guess is JD’s parent, housemate, or whoever they happen to live with let Anwar in.
Or I guess he could have a key, but I’m going with other-person let him in, then he knocked and entered JD’s room- would work with the door being open, ajar, or shut.
Good call. I was just confused because Anwar was greeting JD in their bedroom, meaning JD didn’t answer the front door for him.
jd is so HOT with the specs!
wow its awesome how your style changed trough the comics…
i love it!
“OHMYGOD YOU SLUT TELL ME EVERYTHING!”
“Blah blah nothing juicy blah”
“Uhm… why does… uh, huh? What? Why is that a big deal…? Wierdo…”
Of course the last line could also be replaced with “… Drrrrama queen…” :P
But for some one who’s ace, that can be drama. I had a very similar reaction from cuddling with some one drunk for a few hours. I was like HOLY S***. (well there was some secrete poring but the cuddling was just as big for me)
On the one hand, I love this page so much I could eat it.
On the other – I want to know about Anwar and JD’s romance and why it’s no longer a romance NOW! I hope we get more backstory later.
I know this is off-topic, but it was mentioned a few pages ago, and I couldn’t find it where it was originally posted.
I love the speed at which this is going. I know in some ways you’re following FSoG, but making it more realistic/all-encompassing. Not to mention parody. For starters, this story doesn’t sound like it was written by a child (you’ve taken great care to make sure pronouns are acceptable, and that everyone involved is cast in an appropriate light, etc), but more than that, the characters we’ve seen so far are compelling, and make sense.
Ana gives us no reason whatsoever why she would ever want to go back to Christian (who’s a complete dick and abuser), except that Christian beats her (emotionally and physically) into submission. And not from a D/s point of view. Just an abusive one.
So, ramble short, thank you for doing what you do a hundred million times better than what the original authors did (I’m counting SMeyer as guilty, too, as FSoG was originally Twilight fanfiction).
Oh Goddess, yes, this is much better. I am glad this is showing actual D/s and not abuse. (Especially given I recently was abused and raped at a D/s party because my top could not tell the difference between D/s and being abusive, it’s nice to see work that makes that difference more clear)
<3 the author, can't wait to see where this is going! ^_^
I’ll add to “But they’re still a they, the same way as a man in a dress is still a he.” With: the same way a trans woman in a business suit is still a she. ;)
JD actually binds up those puppies?! I can barely get mine flat and they’re a good three sizes smaller D: Mind you for me it’s just the occasional cross-play costume and not my identity, but jeezum that must be uncomfortable.
JD is my idol.
Though I’d steal their binder in a heartbeat, damn. My bodytype is very similar but so far, no luck at all.
Ug… When I hear people equating binders to spots bras, my boobs hurt. I have some really good sports bras that probably work the same way. They start out comfy (more than any other sports bra has) and make me sore if I wear them for hours. I can’t imagine having binders on every day all the time is good for mammary glands. Even just wearing a regular underwire bra has recently been found to contribute to breast cancer.
It kind of makes me interested in the whole changing your body thing. I remember hearing about a woman doing a study on seeing how people would treat her differently as a man. When she first started, she’d put on all kinds of gear for disguse—from stuffing her pants to wearing fake facial hair. By the end, though, she was able to fool people with none of these as she really got into the mindset of being male. It all came down to how she interacted with others and carried herself. Fascinating stuff gender is.
Do you have a reference for the bra cancer thing? I would print it and carry it around in my purse for the next time someone decides I need an “intervention”. I only started to wear bras regularly because it somehow really pissed off my schoolmates if I didn’t, but I still take it off whenever I think I can get away with it.
Shoot. I must have read misinformation about that (lovely facebook). Everything I googled back to it is sheer speculation with no solid studies. There is a study, however, that finds they can increase sagginess:
http://www.livescience.com/28664-bras-make-breasts-sag.html
I love how you add little details like JD not binding when they’re at home. It seems like you really spend a lot of time thinking as your characters and thinking to add things like that. :)
I just love all the awesome people that leave comments here talking about their sexual orientation, gender identity, relationship experiences and everything else!
If that where youtube there would be a lot of negative, discriminating comments with people trying to force their point of view onto everyone else and I think even on other platforms people might be criticizing others for not being enough like the label they give themselves.
It’s always such a nice, polite and constructive atmosphere even in discussions and I enjoy listening to all different stories…I’m a med student and I seriously consider going into sexual medicine for consultation once I’m done
I think one reason for this is the comic itself (and full marks to Tab for that). Since the comic portrays characters who don’t force issues so, too, do the people who read it. I’ve both this and Tab’s last comic, Khaos Komix and it’s mostly the same there.
There were a few times when people were… less than respectful but usually most of the rest of the community pointed this out. Because this isn’t a place solely to discuss gender issues, people tend to go ‘In my experience…’ rather than ‘I’m an expert and…’
Since everyone else has pretty much thoroughly covered the two things I like about this comic I’m going to leave it as… what was JD playing on, I’m guessing, the xbox?
Not for any particular reason, just wondered if a fictional character shares any of my tastes in game.
why does DJ call themselves me instead of us
Or we
It’s because ‘me’ isn’t a gendered pronoun. JD uses “they” because the common alternatives, “he” and “she,” are gendered. “They” is commonly used as a non-gendered singular pronoun as well as a plural pronoun, which can confuse some people, particularly those who might not speak English as a first language. Since “me” doesn’t have a gender attached to it, an alternate pronoun isn’t necessary.
When Shades of A was beginning, Tab held a poll about what non-gendered pronouns to use for JD. “They” won with a large majority, if I recall correctly. There are other non-gendered pronouns, like “ze/zir” among other things – but if someone is unfamiliar with the use of singular “they,” I’d guess they’d probably also be unfamiliar with “zir” and etc as well.
Actually “gender neutral” is the correct term rather than “non-gendered.” I was in a rush, blah. Hopefully this explanation is satisfactory, though.
okay I get it now duh moment for me I was thinkin they as in plural both he and she but jd uses it so they don’t have to be labeled
i just… don’t understand what it means to identify as a “they,” or why someone would. to avoid gender labels altogether?
not trying to be ignorant, just to understand
The Khaos trans 101 covers this over here:
http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/trans-101-guide-looking-for-comments-and-edits-ready-for-the-tom-alex-book
Aww, Anwar :(. Please more backstory, please?
As for the binder thing, I refer to the comment I made on a page of “Tom’s Story” five million years ago: http://www.khaoskomix.com/komix/toms-story-page-22 (for shits and giggles and relevance)
Ah, that feeling of falling in love with someone and having something happens that causes those feelings to no longer be acceptable but at the same time you know how you feel and don’t want to feel that way.
I know that feeling!
I love your work and I’m so glad you’re writing this. I’m enjoying reading it very much. Just wanted to comment on one thing:
“FYI guys- it’s been explicitly stated in the comic that JD is a they. While they’re a fictional character it’s still just as important to respect pronouns as it is with any other person.”
I’ve been thinking about this comment since you first posted it. I agree that it’s important, and I choose to use the correct pronoun – but I don’t agree it’s “just as important… as it is with any other person.” As a fictional character, their feelings cannot be hurt by being misgendered.
That is definitely not the only reason to respect a pronoun choice. There are lots of others that make it worthwhile to do so, and I do plan to continue respecting that choice as I did above. But it is one important reason. So I don’t agree with “just as important as.”
An interesting point- I believe it important because it shows a level of respect for trans* people though, and so to misgender someone, even if they’re a fictional character, implies they do not respect a trans person’s right to their pronouns. It’s true that JD’s feelings won’t get hurt, but it pisses me off and I’m sure it pisses off a lot of other people, many of them genderqueer. Misgendering is an insult to trans* people as a whole, just because it’s not directed at a specific person doesn’t make it any less damaging.
Any person who does this is someone I don’t want commenting on this comic, so will be banned. Noobs of course get the benefit of the doubt but repeat offenders who have been warned can just leave.
Thanks for your comment, Tab.
I agree with everything you have posted here. Respecting JD’s pronoun choices does show respect for trans people generally as well as demonstrating awareness of trans issues. And misgendering fictional characters quite reasonably pisses people off as well (I can think of other ways bias can be shown when discussing fictional characters, and have even seen it happen myself). I agree that it’s important and worth doing – just not quite as important as it is to respect the pronoun choices of people who are real and have feelings.
And I definitely support you keeping this a safe space for trans and genderqueer folks by screening problem commenters. I think your standard makes sense.
Just wanted to share my thoughts, thanks for listening.
Oh man. JD reminds me so much of my BF Kris. I almost died at that second panel, I’ve heard those exact words before. Loving this style.