Shades Of A 004
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This may differ from place to place, but in England BDSM meetups have an average age of about 50 years. It’s always funny to me when you read a story where someone goes to a kinky club and it’s all hot young things grinding on a dance floor.
The little sign says ‘mobile phones and recording devices are not permitted inside the building.’ This is standard procedure as no one wants blackmail pictures turning up on the internet. Some other common rules clubs have are:
No minors. We support Safe and Sane play among consenting adults. You must be 18 years of age to be on the premises.
No drugs. Drugs are NOT permitted in the building. Persons found in possession of or under the influence of drugs will be asked to leave.
BDSM Play and alcohol don’t mix. We ask that you not indulge in alcohol before you play. ONLY bottled water is allowed in the Dungeon. If the DM’s believe you are impaired your scene will be stopped.
No smoking except in designated smoking lounge.
Play in Dungeon ONLY! All BDSM scenes or play is restricted to the Dungeon Area of the building. Absolutely no play is allowed in the lounge, restrooms or smoking area.
Don’t intervene. If you see something going on that disturbs you, do not intervene. Bring the matter to the attention of a Dungeon Monitor.
No photography, video/audio taping of any kind are allowed in the building.
Be consensual. “No” means “No.” Do not attempt to continue conversations if the other party is clearly uncomfortable.
Ooh, I’m excited to see the rest of the comic, I really want to see what develops with him. :)
Interesting. And to think I only started reading this comic to support the author after Khaos. :3 Many dungeons also say no sex on premises. Not all of them, but a good number. The one near me doesn’t even allow oral. Which is fine for me because I don’t connect pain and sex but it puts a lot of people out a bit.
It often depends on the venue, you need a sex license to legally have sex things going on in the UK.
In the USA, clubs that permit sex run the risk of being charged with Prostitution. Some precautions can be taken, but there is enough bias and misunderstanding that many clubs don’t consider it worth the effort.
Hmmm, that’s some pretty good rules there :)
I LIKE the last panel =)
if an average age of 50 isn’t for you, there are munches and related events for younger people. in germany, we even have a BDSM youth group.
Yeah, there are a fair few under 30 meetups in the UK, it’s just interesting that most people are in an older age bracket!
Really? I’ve never been to a club that didn’t allow phones. Or, I don’t think, one that only allowed bottled water in the dungeon. I’ve only been to London fetish clubs, A half dozen different ones, though most I go the same one. Actually, I would say in the clubs I’ve been to the average age would be younger then that as well, though most people are certainly over 40. Not trying to say you are wrong, obviously, just that it is really interesting our different experiences with the scene. I’m really enjoying this so far. Not just because ere is boob whipping in this strip. But it helps,
I mean more that you can have a phone on you, but you have to keep it turned off or out of sight. The rise of smart phones means recording equipment and organisers want to keep people feeling safe.
It could be that london will have a younger age due to it being more of a club scene and a higher population density.
It’s just funny going to your first event and having most people older than your parents there. The internet lied to me.
Actually I can’t recall attending an event which allowed phones specifically for the reason you mentioned. (“If you need to use your phone, take it out of the dungeon area.”) Not to mention it’s just plain rude to be having a typical phone conversation while someone is having a scene!
I’m actually probably old enough to be your grandmother and I teach DM’s as well as am very active in our local community. Kink in the USA is very different than other places and there are lots of differences in the different area’s of the US as well. What happens on the coasts for instance do not happen in the midwest or middle of the country. Our community has a very active under 35 group, and for the most part we mix just fine. I facilitate a dominant monthly discussion group to a mixed gender/or lack there of group that is a full span of 18-65 and we don’t have any issues with communication. Its not weird here to see all ages playing together, both private and public.
Oh and phones/recording devices are forbidden, we don’t want stuff showing up on FetLife without someone’s permission.
Thumbs up for the mention of FetLife, l found my community there! :)
With the way that averages work, most people being over 40 could definitely mean the average is somewhere between 40 and 50.
The last time I replaced my phone, I tried to find one without a camera. (I have a separate camera, and don’t feel the need for one on my phone.) I couldn’t. It was actually impossible for me to find a phone that didn’t have a camera and a full-colour screen. I think that’s rather a waste of resources myself, but there you are.
TRiG.
Isn’t an indoor designated smoking area currently illegal in the UK?
This is true, however a lot of places will bend the rules as they don’t want people dressed up in fetish gear having to smoke outside in the view of the public where they could get harassed. If the venue has access to a private outside area they’ll use that thought.
This is exactly what some of the clubs in Vancouver Canada are like. The age range is 18-65 but the average is 35-40. The only difference is that some places serve beer and wine. Of course we have the kinky themed dance clubs with a small dungeon in the corner but I prefer the low key ones.
Somehow I didn’t know we had any, although I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise. This IS Vancouver xD
ahhh, this makes me really want to go to a club like this, it looks great!! good rules.
I’ve seen a rather inspiring range of ages at events – everything from ‘just turned legal age’ up to mid 70s or so. There’s also a good range of bodies. It makes me feel better to see people of that age still having a good time with this sort of play – at the very least I feel better for my own future!
Those are some good rules and pretty standard for what I’ve seen at events. I’ve also seen more specific rules about how close you can get to a scene and some places with “official photographers.” Basically you state rather or not you’re comfortable being in pictures and get an appropriate colored wrist band.
I feel like one day I should go to one of these clubs. It sounds interesting.
I’ve never been to a party with a dungeon, but I did get a chance to attend a BDSM themed dance party at House of Blues. While yes, I agree I am glad that people who are 70+ are still having a good time with life, I was not expecting to see older people in fetish clothes. Just…. so many wrinkles and ewwwwwwwwwwwww. DX
Read: REVEALING fetish clothes.
Re: REVEALING fetish clothes.
Whoa, whoa. Body shaming is not cool.
I agree with morgan. Body shaming=/= cool. You will look like that some day, don’t forget.
The older age range at BDSM clubs means a lot of knowledge about and experience with BDSM that the younger age bracket can really benefit from. This makes me wonder if Leather mentors will appear here. That would be awesome.
“most bizarre evening of my life” you say? Silly llama, it’s only page 4!
I have definitely found that the usual crowd at a dungeon I go to is predominantly between 40 and 60. I’m 21 and I’m usually one of the only 5 or 6 people in their 20s. I’ve never been to an actual club, though. The dungeon I go to is private property with parties hosted at least once a month by members of the local community.
I’m surprised that the average is 50 years old. Heh, I guess I (wrongly) assumed the older generations looked down on kink clubs. But that’s definitely interesting to say the least!
…is that Jaime’s mother I see?
…you guys really need to let go.
Could you add “first”/”last” button to be able to jump at the last page directly ? As it was in Khaos :)
Thank you!
gotta say im a lil disappointed as an ace person that a comic about asexuality still…centers around sex…even if the ace person doesn’t actually has sex it’s still kind of a slap in the face to make sex the center of the comic
I’d say it’s a bit early to say what “the centre of the comic” is on page 4.
TRiG.
“A porn comic about an asexual. Yep.” Literally what it says right over there in the sidebar.
I think it’s pretty self-explanatory what this comic is about. It’s about sexuality and an asexual character splashed right in the middle of it all from what I’m gathering from the synopsis and so far. I mean, it’s page 4 and they’re in a BDSM club watching a whipping demo. If it isn’t about sex and sexuality, then what is it about? As an asexual myself, um… yeah. Sex seems to be the center of everything. Even in a comic about an asexual.
I was looking foward to this comic and still am, as an asexual it’s hard to relate to characters that well… aren’t… so this was something I could immerse myself into. Though now I just feel slightly uncomfortable because of all the sex stuff (and it’s only page 4!).
I feel that it would be doing asexuality a disservice by just avoiding the topic of sex completely. I could have made JD the main character, but it’s far more interesting to see the kink world through the eyes of someone not into it.
Each to their own though, feel free to stop reading.
well there’s a difference between bringing the topic up and having the entire comic revolve around it. I’m just frustrated because I was really hoping someone was making a comic about an asexual person and the comic would not be about sex. If you’re not asexual you probably don’t notice, but sex is the center of the world. Everyone talks about it. It’s in tv, books, songs, art, every where. And you just feel so alienated because such a central part to the human experience just doesn’t interest you at all. Not to mention people just staring at you like you’re a freak if you say you’re not interested in sex. It would just be nice to have some sort of validation that you’re not abnormal, that there can be stories about you without having sex shoved into it.
“but it’s far more interesting to see the kink world through the eyes of someone not into it.” see this comment makes me think this comic isn’t about asexual people at all. Asexual people are “interesting” to see them react to sex in a weird way. You’re just using a polite word for it.
I agree that if you’re trying to make this a realistic comic, then it’s okay to have a lot of sexual references in there, because that’s what happens in real life. But to stick an ace character in a BDSM club is just in bad taste. I mean he doesn’t even want to be there from what I can see.
I know you probably can’t change your story now, but I hope that in the future you’ll talk to more people you’re trying to represent in your comics so you’ll have a better grasp on what to do. I know personally that if you had told me you were making a comic about an ace person and 4 pages in they’d be sitting uncomfortably at a BDMS club watching a naked person get whipped I would be very upset!
Mdm – Exactly! You’re right on about the sex everywhere thing. That’s what I meant. It’s not like avoiding the topic of sex is going to make it better, because that would just be extremely unrealistic. But there’s sex and then there’s the world of BDSM… a bit too much I think.
Tab – This comic was just not what I expected it to be, that’s all. It’s not any kind of disservice to ‘avoid the topic of sex completely’ because that’s what I usually do to be honest when it comes up.
As I said above, there’s sex and then there’s BDSM. I’m not a stranger to BDSM (or at least the lifestyle), a close friend of mine is in a 24/7 D/s relationship, but even seeing her and her pet makes me uncomfortable sometimes. There’s also a mutual respect, which this JD doesn’t appear to have for his friend. Which is entirely rude. My friend understands that it makes me uncomfortable, so she doesn’t take me to clubs like this and she doesn’t have her pet around me either. And it’s not that I don’t like him or dislike the lifestyle. It’s just that sex is most often involved in it and she can be… quite domineering at times. So yes, while I don’t have to read this comic, it’s my choice to continue to see where this goes. Also, I’m allowed an opinion… so I’m sorry if it conflicts with yours.
So far, this comic doesn’t appear to be about an asexual. It seems to be about BDSM and that happens to have an ace character slapped in the middle of it. But hey, it’s only Page 4. But from your comment it appears it’s BDSM through the eyes of an asexual. Well I just said that it makes me extremely uncomfortable. So I’m not sure where you’re going with this, that’s all.
‘that happens to have an ace character slapped in the middle of it’ Pretty much describes how I’m treating all my characters in this comic. Being asexual is just a small part of Anwar’s life. It will influence his actions during the plot, but the plot is not driven by his asexuality.
Agreed that JD probably shouldn’t have brought Anwar to this, however they did send them off when it was obvious he was uncomfortable. Though to be fair, Anwar could have always said he didn’t want to go.
well there’s a difference between bringing the topic up and having the entire comic revolve around it. I’m just frustrated because I was really hoping someone was making a comic about an asexual person and the comic would not be about sex. If you’re not asexual you probably don’t notice, but sex is the center of the world. Everyone talks about it. It’s in tv, books, songs, art, every where. And you just feel so alienated because such a central part to the human experience just doesn’t interest you at all. Not to mention people just staring at you like you’re a freak if you say you’re not interested in sex. It would just be nice to have some sort of validation that you’re not abnormal, that there can be stories about you without having sex shoved into it.
“but it’s far more interesting to see the kink world through the eyes of someone not into it.” see this comment makes me think this comic isn’t about asexual people at all. Asexual people are “interesting” to see them react to sex in a weird way. You’re just using a polite word for it.
I agree that if you’re trying to make this a realistic comic, then it’s okay to have a lot of sexual references in there, because that’s what happens in real life. But to stick an ace character in a BDSM club is just in bad taste. I mean he doesn’t even want to be there from what I can see.
I know you probably can’t change your story now, but I hope that in the future you’ll talk to more people you’re trying to represent in your comics so you’ll have a better grasp on what to do. I know personally that if you had told me you were making a comic about an ace person and 4 pages in they’d be sitting uncomfortably at a BDMS club watching a naked person get whipped I would be very upset!
also an addendum I don’t like how you replied to kate…she is an ace person and voicing her concern about the comic and all you can say is what YOU feel would be a disservice, and then telling them to feel free to stop reading.
Those rules are very similar to what I’ve found in the US. The only fetish activity I’ve ever attended that was more lenient was a convention called Frolicon. And of course lots of kinky folks are older… We’ve been there done that and know what we like ^.^ For a lot of folks it takes years to get over the whole sex = shame thing.
well there’s a difference between bringing the topic up and having the entire comic revolve around it. I’m just frustrated because I was really hoping someone was making a comic about an asexual person and the comic would not be about sex. If you’re not asexual you probably don’t notice, but sex is the center of the world. Everyone talks about it. It’s in tv, books, songs, art, every where. And you just feel so alienated because such a central part to the human experience just doesn’t interest you at all. Not to mention people just staring at you like you’re a freak if you say you’re not interested in sex. It would just be nice to have some sort of validation that you’re not abnormal, that there can be stories about you without having sex shoved into it.
“but it’s far more interesting to see the kink world through the eyes of someone not into it.” see this comment makes me think this comic isn’t about asexual people at all. Asexual people are “interesting” to see them react to sex in a weird way. You’re just using a polite word for it.
I agree that if you’re trying to make this a realistic comic, then it’s okay to have a lot of sexual references in there, because that’s what happens in real life. But to stick an ace character in a BDSM club is just in bad taste. I mean he doesn’t even want to be there from what I can see.
I know you probably can’t change your story now, but I hope that in the future you’ll talk to more people you’re trying to represent in your comics so you’ll have a better grasp on what to do. I know personally that if you had told me you were making a comic about an ace person and 4 pages in they’d be sitting uncomfortably at a BDMS club watching a naked person get whipped I would be very upset!
I really liked the introduction to the sex club we found here in Toronto (couples only, dungeon play, voyearism rooms, etc). It’s a shame my boyfriend wasn’t so into it but amazing how much we opened up about our fantasies and boundries after. I recommend everyone visit one just to see even if you don’t want to participate :)
I really like the community here. Even without knowing where the comic is headed I love hearing everyone’s input and opinions. Thank you!
I like how you tried to write a comic about an Asexual(p.s. I love your other stories) but this story is a little misrepresenting to the ace comunnity. An asexual person can have a fetish there are some asexuals I know who are into s&m and bsdm type things. While the asexual character doesn’t have to have a fetish and can react like this-it’s not an asexual trait to not like fetishes.I’m a sexualy-repulsed romantic Ace and have a non-sex fetish, I was hoping this story would be an asexual man trying a mixed relationship with a sexual person :I there’s also a bunch of things involving asexuality and sexual society I wanted to see^-^” although that’s asking to much of a webcomic short story. Asexual simply means not feeling sexual attraction towards any gender, however non-sex acts can still be a turn-on ask any S&M lover and they’ll tell you it’s not about the sex it’s about the feeling of being the S or M sex or sexual attraction to the person isn’t even needed for this fetish. Asexuality can be a bit confusing to someone who’s not asexual/read many discussion on aven
Aven=Asexuality visiblity network: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/86523-asexual-with-sexual-partner/
Yeah, so I still love your comics but I just feel you misrepresented aces a bit ^-^”
aaaand here’s the couple that anwar forgot about