Shades After Page 99
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Yeaaah, JD got that right. … awks.
Yup, they nailed that one. I wonder if Chris is one of the people who liked that comment?
Must say, I had to google what “frape” meant. How did that ever get to be a term that people actually use? I’ll never use it, that’s for sure.
I honestly have no idea. I don’t know why people think it’s funny to do it in the first place, and I REALLY don’t know why anyone thinks using the term is a-okay. Just. No.
I like to post silly messages on my husband’s account every once in while when he leaves it open at home, but I don’t think I would do it to anyone else. Stuff like “My wife thinks I have a cute butt!”
I had to google it too, and now I’m angry that they misuse the word rape in yet another way :/
Perhaps it’s just a UK thing? It’s a term that’s been around for at least six years that I know of, and almost everyone who’s on social media knows it around here.
It’s been around so long that I don’t think anyone who’s used to it thinks of it as “Facebook-rape” anymore, it’s become a word in its own right.
I’m in the US and I didn’t know the term until just now. This really makes me glad of my decision to stay as far away from Facebook as possible.
Same here, U.S. west coast and Facebook addict but never heard of that term before. Maybe my circle of friends are too polite to do that sort of thing.
Frape is probably a misspelling of frappe, which is a type of coffee drink. Doesn’t Anwar work in a coffee shop?
That’s how I read it. And re-read it. But I knew what he was trying to say, and had to kinda come at it from the other direction to make my eyes see it as it was intended…
I’ve been trying to push the term “fabotage” since it is entierly more accurate, but it isn’t catching on just yet.
Is that the same guy who was harassing Anwar to go out with them to the pub in the earlier chapter?
http://www.discordcomics.com/comic/shades-of-a-086/ I found it and answered my own question.
Also props to Tab because you can see the improvement in your art when you go back to the first book! Well done, sir.
I like that Tab actually used the bottom image from the page you linked as his profile pic as a little nod to who it is.
I agree! It helps with the connection – it’s just been long enough since we’ve seen him that I wasn’t sure.
The mention of work though reaffirms it as well.
1: I don’t have Facebook :-\
2: What’s “frape?”
“Facebook rape”
Someone leaves their Facebook open on your computer, or you get on their phone at some point and post things about them such as, changing their sexual orientation, posting pictures that stress the change you made(usually it’s to make a guy look gay) or you leave statuses like, “I like to lick my sweaty armpits when no one is looking.”
More commonly, at least from what I see in my feed, is that friends will do it and post things like….
John Doe: Jane Noone is the love of my life <3 BFFs forever
Then in the comments…
Jane: Hacked <3
John: Well, you're not wrong <3
Ah, thank you. That sounds like a very rude thing to do to someone. Potentially hilarious if given some forethought and creativity, but mostly dumb.
It can be cute or hilarious, but there’s definitely a lot of bullying potential so it’s just… meh. I’m pretty anal about signing out of things when on other people’s computers and stuff and not saving passwords and keep my phone locked. You just never know who may do what and, given the times, I think it’s kind of a necessity to teach kids that.
I can just see this backfiring, given that Chris isn’t out at work.
i was wondering the same thing..
I remember I once linked my (former) girlfriend to this FB page for underwear with kitty cats on them. (I mean, her name is Cat, and everyone wears underwear, so I just seemed natural…) Turns out she complained that this was going to get her in trouble at work.
Then I linked her to this cosplayer doing a cosplay of Honey Lemon. I mean, Honey Lemon is a chemist, and she’s a chemist, seemed natural. Turns out, no, that would also get her in trouble.
Oy! I hate Facebook. Glad I deleted my profile.
I see this as essentially Anwar coming out as a way to show Chris he’s committed, and he knew full well what it meant for his work, or at least, thinks he knows full well. What I mean is, he changed his relationship status knowing full well who would see it.
I could see Anwar not realizing how badly this could backfire. I know a bunch of people from my old job who refused to be Facebook friends with their coworkers so they could keep their professional and personal lives separate. Considering how closed-off Chris has been, I can see him being one of those people who isn’t FB friends with anyone from his work.
That said, it might have been better to go get a FetLife page and pronounce the relationship there, instead.
Mild correction. This will only get Chris in trouble at work if Chris approves it. Unless you approve the relationship it will not show, it will simply show “Anwar is in a relationship” until Chris approves it, then it will show. “Anwar is in a relationship with Chris.”
Ah.
I’ve never been in a relationship with someone that we promoted on FB, so I was a little unsure as to how that worked. My bad.
As far as I remember how this works, unless Chris marks Anwar this way too, it won’t show up on his profile.
This. That was my first thought, too. But I’m like 99% sure the other person has to confirm or it stops at “in a relationship. “
Frape, short for facebook rape, is basically when someone finds a person’s logged in account to make stupid and humiliating posts. Basically that guy called the status update a stupid joke someone else made as a prank on Anwar. Very rude.
Thank you for informing us.
Wow. Glad I never heard of that before, that term is fucking disgusting.
Man, poor Anwar is a magnet for homophobes it seems. I’ve seen he and Chris encounter more than my husband and I ever have. It just feels a bit odd to see that in a comic based in my country- and it makes me sad because I feel like Tab must have had experiences to draw upon.
It doesn’t feel like Andrew was being homophobic. It sounds like an awkward misunderstanding.
I disagree. If you go back to Andrew’s first appearance, he calls JD “that dyke girl”
I’d call him a homophobe on that alone, but wait there’s more!
ignoring his use of the word frape, which is just ew. A thousand times ew.
The humor behind the type of prank he thinks happened basically boils down to “Ha! everyone’s gonna think you’re gay now, sucks to be you!” which is homophobic.
Agreed on all points. Especially, you know. Ew.
I don’t remember Andrew. He must not have made any impression on me.
I don’t feel like this is Anwar being a magnet. I feel like this is .. Life.
Does JD go by Jaidee on Facebook because of their awful “real name” policy?
That real name policy is a joke. When people have FB pages for fictional characters and “real names” that are just usernames to other sites broken into two parts to fill out the first and last name section, it’s time to give up and allow usernames.
I thought they ditched the policy because it put people who were hiding their real names for security in danger
No, they haven’t. That’s the argument many have given for why they *should*, but they’re stubbornly sticking to the assertion that people who want or need to use a name other than that on their gov’t documents are fundamentally flawed human beings.
Quite a few of my friends have been nymmed at this point. It’s stupid.
I go by my dad’s last name on FB for just that reason (IRL, I go by my mum’s last name). My mum’s kind of well known and I’ve had people find out my cell phone number and use it to try to get dirt on her, so I decided that I was going to keep FB as a place where they couldn’t find me.
No, I have a friend who uses initials on FB exactly because she’s been stalked by her crazy ex.
Jaidee is actually a traditional Thai name, which is why JD shortens it to Jade in earlier comics.
I am trans but have not yet changed my legal name; my actual real name (not my legal one) is on my Facebook profile and I have not, as yet, had trouble with the “real name” policy on Facebook. However, I mostly haven’t friended anyone who would report me for it, and I made a new account when I changed my name.
If they try to make me stop using my real name on Facebook, I’m personally just going to delete my Facebook account (again) and consider remaking with a new email address, so I don’t see it having much effect other than extreme inconvenience for JD.
depending on where in the world you live, your legal name is the name you use. If you’re using the name a significant quantity of the time (and it’s been used on some legal documentation), your real name can actually be considered your legal name.
A cousin of mine was “in a relationship” with a male friend, and I wasn’t sure if he was gay or not, or if it was just a joke (we aren’t close, we’re at least 10 years apart and have lived in different countries for most of my life).
Then the relationship on Facebook ended, and he posted about all these people wishing him well, basically saying “ummm, thanks… but that wasn’t a real relationship.” And then his friend was posting over-the-top melodramatic things :)
Also, funny story (well, not overly, but on topic). My now-husband and I had a rather giggly “shall we update FB” thing when we very first got together. For some reason though we couldn’t get it to accept that we were in a relationship with each other, only that we were in a relationship; so we both got bombarded with “OMG DETAILS” posts. Heh.
I think that’s the closest I got to being a REAL Facebooker.
YUP. Know this one.
When we changed our status to being in an Open Relationship (since Poly or Open/Poly wasn’t an option).
Immediate response “I don’t think that means what you think that means”
Like… *sigh*, yeah we do. And if you think we might not – put it in a damn message, not publicly embarrassing one/both of us. Cause at least one of us is wrong and about to look real dumb.
In the first panel, JD says something about “queer soc-.” What is that?
Guessing: An LGBT student society at their university. A lot of student societies have names which end in “Society”, often shortened to “soc” in speech. Since JD and Anwar were at university together, they’d probably keep up those speech patterns in each other’s company.
TRiG.
That’ll be the LGBT society at university. The acronym used tends to differ slightly depending on the uni (mine has an LGBT+ Society, because they wouldn’t let us call it LGBTQIA+ Society, which sucks a little). It may have just been an agreed thing at their particular uni that calling it Queer Soc was a-okay for colloquial speech, since some of us like to use the word as a reclamation.
Is the UK still really homophobic? I mean you guys got marriage equality years before the US did, I’d figure by now everyone would have just gotten over it.
Also Anwar definitely didn’t think this through, if Chris couldn’t even wear the tie he got him for work what makes him think making their relationship Facebook official isn’t going to give him problems? Although not that I ever fiddled with the relationship thing, shouldn’t the other party get to confirm that they’re in a relationship before it becomes public? Like Anwar should have to send a request and Chris should accept it? Or is Chris just not on Facebook?
Actually, we only got full marriage equality in 2014.
Then again, I was horrified to learn that the US only fully legalized same sex relationships in 2004…
You would be surprised. Litteraly just read an article where to hetero radio guys walked down the street holding hands n people were avoiding them. When challenged they said stuff like (and I’m paraphrasing) “I’m not against it but I don’t like it being shoved in my face” … Handholding… Myself I had cyclists yell “fags” at me and my x walking down a street. It’s still there but often more overt. :/ can’t change people’s minds just by changing laws sadly but we are making progress
So yea better but not 100% yet
As I said on a previous page, my husband and I have never gotten anything yelled at us and relatively minor friction from people we already knew (pretty much just my parents I think, who are assholes anyway.) We’ve actually had positive stuff yelled at us.
So overall? I think it really depends on who and where you are, and maybe luck.
As for the marriage thing, we got “civil unions” quite a while back, but actual marriage was a way after that. (March 2014 if I remember right. Hubby and I got married in September so we timed it well!) There are definitely still people here and there who have rather backwards views on homosexuality though.
Oh, and I was concerned about meeting hubby’s grandmothers (especially the religious one, eee) but they were totally okay with it when his mother accidentally outed him to the religious grandparents, and the grandmother was so sweet and welcoming and just seemed thrilled her grandson had someone who loved him. She didn’t care that it was another man with a beard and piercings galore.
I wouldn’t be too concerned. on facebook you can block certain people from seeing your relationship status if you really wanted
Depends where you are, some places are bad, in some most people just don’t give a shit beyond the lower class givin it a bit of gob trying to act ‘ard
He better have asked Chris first… Or else he may be fired for this
If I remember rightly (big if there!) it would just say that Anwar was “in a relationship” until Chris confirmed it, when it would then update both pages with “in a relationship with [person]”.
Yup, I don’t even think there is a privacy setting for that, for family members and relationships the other person has to confirm that the info is correct and they want it public, no matter the other privacy settings of their account.
You are correct.
Tab! Is JD’s last name Robers, or did you forget the t in Roberts? Just curious, as I’ve yet to come across Robers before (but then again, I live in a counrty with few English names)
Typo! Cheers for the heads up
hey can you put a warning for making a joke out of rape? at least??
It’s not a joke, it’s a word used in the UK. A totally inappropriate word, if you will, but I’m fairly convinced that Tab is not making fun of rape. He’s portraying a character who says “frape”.
It strikes me as completely in-character for that guy to be the sort of person who says ‘frape’. It’s a horrible word and I personally don’t use it, (not even the corrupted ‘fraep’), but it’s generally understood and commonly used here.
Aw, hell. Social media site + Chris’s homophobic IT server job…..Chris is gonna lose his job over this ain’t he…:'(
My thoughts exactly
If he does he’s gotta nice lawsuit coming up since that would totally be illegal. At any rate I see him getting some shit for it
That’s one way to fix your terrible jobs, Anwar–just get Chris fired.
The plan is perfect.
He’s not trying to fix his job, he’s trying to make Chris realise he wants to be with him and is happy. The end comment was Anwar saying that a side effect of sharing his relationship publicly his work has become awkward as his colleagues realise he’s not straight.
Consensus seems to be that it wouldn’t show to Chris’s friends unless his allowed it anyway. Plus if Chris was fired and it could be proved that it was related to his sexuality (like if they fired him out of the blue now) he’d have a pretty good case for unfair dismissal.