Shades After Page 93
‘Butter me up like a Chicken’ is my own personal phrase for the height of depravity. It’s almost becoming my catch phrase- someone will make a joke about sodomy, then a I sigh, get up from my seat and say ‘I’ll go butter the chicken.’ The more sad you look when you utter the phrase, the better.
I realised while drawing this that it’s the first time you see Chris’ chest naked in the story- it’s hinted at a bit much earlier that he doesn’t like his chest being seen, but not *why*. This makes the bath that they shared after Anwar meets Hazel and Pearl that little bit more significant. I spent most of drawing this like ‘but what would his nipples look like..?’ I added a new layer to the colouring process called ‘pretty pinks’ which you can totally see with that FINE hand detail in the last panel.
That sounds like our group joke about Santa “STUFFING” the turkey…
Anwar’s fear is actually a large portion of why I haven’t been more active in the BDSM scene, though I’d like to be. I tend to get non-communicative in a scene, and for my sake, and the sake of whoever would be the Dominant in that scene, I’ve chosen to abstain. It sucks, some days, but I figure it’s safer for everyone involved if I stay on the sidelines. Though everyone around me is totally allowed to have their safe, sane, and consensual fun. ;)
I have a similar problem, so I’ve worked out a method of communicating “stop” without words. In my case, it’s two hard bangs on a surface with the palm of my hand.
I understand that. Many people I know establish obvious signals for if they can’t talk or have trouble talking (some people I know go non-verbal due to being in subspace or whatnot, and wearing a gag makes safewording or saying something difficult). Tapping out, having an item to drop to signal a safeword, etc.
Yeah, I’ve had experiences where someone intentionally (I think) waited until I was too into a scene to have the will/focus/energy to say no and then did things I’d specifically said I didn’t want. It worked because I, like Chris, was desperate for affection and didn’t want to believe that someone who seemed to like me would intentionally disrespect my boundaries. It sounds like Chris is in a better place with his own boundaries now, but some people can and do exploit that possibility.
I only started with BDSM recently for the same reason. I have trust issues and the idea of playing with a Dom I didn’t really know freaked me out. Turned out a very close friend was a Dom. He’s known me for years and can read me, probably better than I can myself. I go pretty much incoherent in subspace and knowing that he knows me enough to stop, even if I don’t say something, is reassuring. I think if I didn’t have that I wouldn’t feel comfortable playing for similar reasons to what Chris says
Oh. Oooooh…
Please say there are cuddles coming, because damn
Anwar has the patience of a saint. If my partner started trying to shock me with stories of what he does outside of our relationship, I’d have upped and left.
That’s harsh, explaining that he knows his limits because he’s learned the hard way isn’t trying to shock it’s to reassure.
It’s the poorest explanation ever. His boyfriend is (perhaps misguidedly) concerned for his safety, and he’s acting all snippy. Nope, not good.
Except that I don’t think Chris is doing this to shock, he’s trying to reassure Anwar that he knows his limits by having pushed too far past them in the past. They don’t exactly have a conventional relationship- it is built into the fabric of their relationship that Chris understands (perhaps better than Anwar himself who keeps offering to have sex he doesn’t want) that Anwar is asexual and that Chris is a sexual person who will get his sexual/submissive urges met with the approved Domme who Anwar has even met! This is totally different that a cheating lover bragging to you how much better the other lover is. Now maybe they need to have a talk about disclosure, maybe Anwar doesn’t need or want (or is able to cope with) hearing details, but they haven’t yet had that conversation to my knowledge.
I guess I just don’t see their relationship work in the long run. Anwar is visibly hurt by what is necessary for Chris. Perhaps it’d be better if they looked for other people who suited them better, really.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks Chris is being an ass right now.
Chris has been beyond patient with Anwar. He’s entitled to his own exasperation with Anwar overreacting and flipping out over what he does.
No, stop Chris. Just telling him his fears are invalid like that isn’t going to help ease his anxieties, it’ll make things worse. The whole ‘Butter me up like a Chicken’ thing wasn’t okay.
Just to clarify, not saying the phrase isn’t okay, just how he used it.
I think, given how defensive ‘War has gotten over various touchy subjects, Chris is entitled to his own moment of indignant upset given that ‘War is basically saying “I don’t trust your judgment when it comes to keeping yourself safe and knowing your own limits.”
This kind of stuff has been shown to trigger War on multiple occasions, so that’s why I’m upset with Chris. This is where he should put something on to cover it, sit down, and have a nice long talk instead of triggering War further.
It hasn’t been shown to trigger him, it’s been shown to *squick him out*. There’s a (really, really un)subtle difference.
I know the difference, but from his behavior it’s not JUST a squick. Maybe it’s not a trigger either, but squick? No.
Ok, a viscerally negative reaction. People have those to all sorts of things. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re in the right or that their feelings are sacrosanct or worthy of sympathy. And considering that Chris has made it abundantly clear that he knows his own body and mind, and is acting of his own volition, and basically everything Kss said downthread, I think ‘War’s being a bit of a concern-troll tosser here. But hey! we’ve probably all been guilty of that at some point, ya live ya learn.
(I’d like to add my voice to the “this is really well-written” chorus. So often in fictional arguments, there’s a painfully obvious author avatar/strawman division, but the fact that the comments are split between support for both characters is testament to the quality of the writing.)
Chicken… turkey… I’m getting hungry…
I’ll take “things I was not prepared to know for 800, Alex” ;_;
I understand Chris is likely feeling a little frustrated being questioned about his lifestyle, even though he is an adult and knows what he’s doing, but I do wish he would be a little more forgiving of Anwar’s ignorance – he doesn’t understand the lifestyle and having the side effects thrown in your face… I dunno I think I would be asking the same thing about twelve years ago if my lover came back with lash marks like that on them… I know more now, and would probably just be sure they were having fun and ask if they wanted me to put ointment on them… But this is new to Anwar.
On the other end, Anwar, you have access to the internet, you might want to do some research u-u;
I just, I really really love how absolutely human they both are in this scene. They’re talking around eachother instead of to eachother and missing signals and tripping over eachother’s toes and it makes them both feel so genuine.
They totally are! This entire story arc has been them doing everything wrong yet noting wrong at the same time! Anwar probably didn’t react in the best way to how these things are for chris. Chris probably needs/enjoys his sessions and does know when to stop. Getting “You don’t know what you need/want” in any aspect can feel degrading including sexual likes and preferences. Plus worry your doing something that a partner may not be 100% ok with can be more than nerve wracking.
Yet Chris is handling anwar’s more than reasonable (not nesserially optiomal but understandable compleatly, don’t think i’d be ok seeing a partners effects that large even if i know it happens/happened) thrown reaction. See injured partner == fear/worry/hyperactive care mode activate – bypass all logic processes. He IS trying to reassure anwar. But frankly there have been some lines – like the blood play line and being dismissive of concerns don’t answer the worries or questions. It just makes you feel like there is something going on and your partners shutting you out.
This. A thousand times this.
Maybe I’m weird, but what would shock me more would be seeing someone “hurt”. And he’s clearly not hurting. What I mean is that Chris is clearly feeling good and happy, and that’s what should be important. I understand it can be shocking to see such a bruised back (or scars and all), when you don’t expect them, but first, Anwar is totally aware of Chris being into submissive BDSM so well, and secondly, seeing that it’s not something like self-mutilation or anything negative for Chris should help him trust his partner…
It’s ok if he doesn’t understand how Chris can enjoy it. But being that untrusting (thinking Chris doesn’t know what he does, what are his limits and all) is kinda judgemental :/… But well, the argument is well done and really realistic.