Shades After Page 105
It’s mentioned waaaay earlier in the comics that the fet club night is held in what is usually a pole dancing club. These are the little booths upstairs for private dances, in in this case private conversations.
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Chris has nothing to defend, he didn’t do anything wrong. They discussed and agreed to this arrangement. Anwar on the other hand, should apologize for interrupting in my opinion.
I feel like he’s probably not going to criticize him, he did just want to talk to him. Also you have to understand agreeing to something and seeing it are 2 entirely different things, from the point of view of someone who is ace not into kink stuff it’s quite a traumatic and kind of really scary thing to see. Very intimidating. Like when he saw JD, he KNEW they were into kink stuff and had heard what it entailed from them, yet when he SAW it it was an entirely different experience. Its like having someone dear to you wrestle, you know they are entirely safe bc of the rules and guidelines but it’s still scary to see what, to you, looks like them getting hurt. Also anwar didn’t really interrupt? Like he SHOWED UP and
when Chris saw him he stopped and came over to see him. He didn’t call out to him and his emotional reaction was not an exclamatory one, he didn’t force Chris to stop. If he gets upset it isn’t bc he’s ANGRY at Chris or anything, it’s bc it’s an alarming thing to see that he doesn’t altogether understand. Like being Ace probably is to Chris, they’re both on different spectrums that are hard to understand.
By interrupting, I meant showing up unannounced. As for seeing Chris’s activities and it being traumatic, Anwar showed up knowing what he would see and knowing that he wouldn’t like seeing it ( since he didn’t like it when he went to the club the first time). Anwar is an adult and he is responsible for himself. He just intentionally went to a place where he knows things go on that he doesn’t want to see and that upset him and he knew what Chris would be doing there, if he’s traumatized by what he saw then it’s his own fault. No one made him go there and jd warned him not to. In my opinion, if you intentionally put yourself in a situation that you know will be traumatic for you, then you don’t get to complain when it is.
This is not about having to defend, but more an immediate emotional reaction. In the past Anwar has freaked out totally. And being in a really intense place and probably facing a very sudden sub crash, is just making the immediate mental assumption that Anwar is going to freak out and attach him.
It may not be a what actually happens, but its the kind of very human emotional panic that people have.
I get what you’re saying and I agree with you, what I’m saying is that when Chris says, ” I’m not in the right place to defend myself” I don’t think, even if Anwar does freak out, that he should need to defend himself because he didn’t do anything wrong.
Yea and nor did anwar. He went thinking he needs to talk about major possibly life changing events with his S.O. I think he did go in knowing that seeing things he doesn’t like is highly likely to happen. But exciting it with Chris was something wasn’t guaranteed. We saw it comming but that’s because this is a story you expect dramatic things to happen. Realistically Anwar wouldn’t be going in this with a reasonable base that it’s Chris on display. JD could have just been worried Anwar would see JD themselves or a couple doing extremely kinky stuff. No one intentionally seeks trauma. Saying someone has is bit more than rude. Sometime we think we can handle things better than we can in actuality, or prepare for one thing and get surprised by something else.
I didn’t say people intentionally seek trauma, I said if you intentionally put yourself in a situation that you KNOW WILL BE traumatic for you then you can’t complain when it is. The two statements aren’t even remotely similar in meaning. I also wasn’t saying that is for sure what is happening in the comic, I was replying to what Caprine said about seeing bdsm being traumatic for an ace person.
Also. Psychologically speaking, people often recreate their traumatic experiences or intentionally seek traumatic experiences because they feel they deserve them as well as other reasons. Look up “retraumatizing yourself” if you’d like more information on the subject.
I think we need to give Anwar a chance. He hasn’t said anything yet- Chris could be assuming that he is going to freak out. I hope???
Poor Chris. He’s probably in such a vulnerable mental place, didn’t get whatever type of release they were building to, and now he probably thinks he’s going to get dumped.
Man, I’d be pissed. Yeah, sure, walk away and let me fall out of domspace with no aftercare, because your boyfriend just walked in, he’s the one who really counts and I’m just some living sex toy.
I think that the top seems to understand that this is an important conversation. I’m hopeful she’d say something to Chris otherwise. They probably have a set-up for that, since they’re both fairly familiar with each other.
Depends on the situation, though. I’ve heard in some cases they have it set up so someone doms and another person (other partner, friend, or group of friends) deal with the aftercare for the sub. Of course, that’s all worked out beforehand, but I think Raven (is that her name?) might understand for this particular case, or I hope she at least touches back on Chris and see how he, especially since the ensuing conversation probably isn’t going to count much for aftercare.
But instead, Chris who is now an emotional wreck should stick around to provide aftercare he’s clearly in no position to be providing? If something goes wrong in a scene – even if it’s the fault of an outside party – and my sub calls red, I give them as much space (or as little) as they need without assuming that their need for space has anything to do with treating me like a living sex toy. That’s part of being a responsible dom.
This is infuriating to watch play out. Anwar owes them BOTH an apology for blind-siding them like this; it reeks of disrespect.
Quite honestly, with the comic’s end in sight, I’m hoping Chris and Anwar will end this for both their benefits. Chris needs someone who will respect his needs (and at least attempt to educate themselves rather than placing the entire onus on his shoulders), and Anwar needs to find someone he won’t feel pressured to force himself outside of his comfort-zone to be with (along with a much-needed dose of maturity – Jesus Christ, these snap decisions he’s made have been disastrous).
I really think Anwar just needs to grow up, and that only happens with time. He’s super young, and has been in very few relationships. Of course he’s going to screw up. Everyone screws up at first.
Mm, yeah it isn’t that great of Anwar to be interrupting, but on the other hand he sort of was just staring at the scene and Chris ended it himself upon noticing. It’s not like Anwar knew it was happening when he went in.
Don’t get me wrong, the whole thing is wreckless and he really does need to grow up. But yes, lets at least hope the boy doesn’t say something stupid in regards to the situation and at least focuses on explaining his emotional need for support irt the stressful situation with his parents rather than the confusion (i assume) he is facing irt Chris’ scene. As Chris mentioned, he is in a very particularly vulnerable position…
I don’t know why everyone is assuming Anwar is on the offensive here. He literally hasn’t said a word for a couple pages. He’s done nothing as of yet. Let’s wait until everything unfolds and then we’ll know what to say about Anwar. Right now, all he’s done is come to talk to his boyfriend, found him busy and the boyfriend himself decided to talk to Anwar. I don’t understand how that’s offensive on Anwar’s part.
It’s not. I feel Anwar should have known what was happening, though.
I feel it’s like if someone interrupted me when I’m in the middle of a massage, or grief counseling, or any kind of arranged service. This was Chris’ moment, and many readers feel Anwar should have known better.
^This, exactly
The thing is Anwar doesn’t know better. He is still very young, very immature in the ways of relationships, and didn’t think it all through.
I think that is a poor excuse. Anwar is an adult and even young children are generally taught not to interrupt people when they are busy. Immaturity is also a reason, but it doesn’t excuse his behavior or absolve him of responsibility for his choices.
You know, something you might also be missing: the way these sort of clubs work. You don’t go in, get tied up and have a scene the entire time you’re at the club. In fact, as demonstrated when Chris and War first met, a good bit of the time in the club is spent simply socializing. There’s no reason for War to assume that Chris would have been in the middle of a scene at that very moment. In fact, odds were against that being the case in most clubs like this.
Even if Chris hadn’t been in a scene, it’s still rude to just show up expecting the other person to just drop whatever they are doing and talk to you right this second. Also, as I am a part of the scene, I do know what goes on in a club. Please don’t assume to know what I do or do not understand.
I didn’t assume. I, in fact, said “might also be missing.” That having been said, when there is some major crisis (which in War’s world the confrontation with his mother and uncle and being offered a job that would require moving could easily fall into that category) it’s hardly rude to show up at a club where you know your SO will be. We have no reason whatsoever to think that War was “expecting the other person to just drop whatever they are doing and talk to you right this second.” All we know is that War knew Chris would be there and so there he went. Had Chris not seen him or not called red, we have no reason to assume War wouldn’t have waited for the conversation. Chris chose to end the scene and Chris chose to drop everything to talk to him without War saying a word. So, maybe you shouldn’t be making assumptions here.
That’s your opinion, you’re entitled to it, I disagree and I’m entitled to my opinion. It’s not assuming because I see this situation differently than you. If that were true, then it would be an assumption on your part to say there’s no evidence that’s what Anwar is doing. I see evidence that he is, you don’t. I say agree to disagree and move on.
@Fox, while it’s an opinion on what he may or may not have been expecting, he hasn’t said or “thought” anything for the reader to say. He simply walked in. That’s not evidence to his expectations. As I said, he could have waited or even left had Chris not taken charge of the situation. Until War says or “thinks” something for the readers to see, no, there is no evidence to suggest he expected Chris to drop everything or even that he expected Chris to be in the middle of a scene.
Again, I disagree. You have your take, I have mine, you won’t change my mind and I don’t care to try change yours, I only wanted to present my take on the situation. I see no point in continuing this conversation, we are just going in circles. Agree to disagree and move on.
Just because one is an adult, doesn’t mean one knows better.
Poor Chris. Could Anwar really not wait until the next night!?
(Puts on sarcasm hat) No way, Anwar needs his needs fulfilled right this second! There’s no possible way he can wait until he’s calmed down and Chris isn’t in the middle of his important session!
+1 for sarcasm.exe!
I’m really hoping that they have a big hug… :(
Anwar should really apologize for just barging in and interrupting Chris and also creating an awkward situation for everyone involved, if nothing else.
I really don’t care if Anwar thought he was ready for what he was about to see or not. It’s not about that.
“I NEED TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW IMMIEDIETALY even tho I could just wait until tomorrow and I’m fully aware you’re busy BUT WHO CARES, I FEEL LIKE TALKING, NOW.”
I also want to add I really appreciate peoples reactions here. Yes they are strong, but they are the same type of very human anxieties and emotions the characters are feeling, which are natural and not wrong in either perspective. But remember, people are people and make mistakes, sometimes over and over again, before they learn from them.
Poor Chris. It’s gotta be hard on him to have to abruptly stop the scene. One thing that’s getting to be with most comments is ragging on ‘War. He’s trying. He hasn’t said a thing yey, and I don’t feel like he’s going to attack Chris in any way; he’s vulnerable because he was probably only getting into sub space and hadn’t had release.
Anwar knows Chris is kinky and has seen aftermath of a scene, but has never seen during one. He had an immediate reaction of shock because he’s never seen Chris in that light, nor was he expecting to that night. I honestly feel the conversation they had the other day will go a long way in Anwar’s understanding, especially given he got to see Chris stop it, if that makes sense.
I just want them to communicate properly so things can be sorted…
Did Anwar tell Chris why he stopped by (presumably between pages), or is Chris just jumping into the conversation saying “this isn’t the time” before he knows why Anwar is even there? And if it’s the latter, what does Chris think Anwar is there to say?
I don’t think he’s yet had a chance to explain why he showed up that night. It seems Chris stopped the scene them took War to one of the booths for a private convo. Because War hasn’t had best reactions in past (i.e., seeing JD having a scene) he probably thinks War is going to say insensitive and ignorant things.
Now hug!
As Chris’ SO, Anwar should get some priority though.
He didn’t say anything to stop the scene, Chris stopped it of his own accord, though he seems to think Anwar intentionally came to harass him about what he’s doing. But Anwar needs emotional support from Chris. So I’m hoping they have a heart to heart so that Anwar’s mind is at ease.
Really it think its going to be fine and everyone is assuming wayy to much about anwars future actions. I don’t get the sense anwar is going to ‘attack’ chris. If was him i’d probably go: I’m sorry for walking in like this but i need to talk my mom and uncle jsut dorpped big news and i’m not sure what the best future for me and by ommison us is going to be now”