Shades After page 101
Anwar laying down the truth.
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I have absolutely no idea where Anwar lives, so I have no idea how far away he is from London. What sort of commute or move would this entail?
Anwar lives in Birmingham, it was mentioned some pages back when he was talking to Chris’s kids, and probably a few times before that.
It’s about 130 or so miles – so no, it’s not something you’d want to do every day in a car. Now he could do a train- it’s about an hour and a half on the train. But that’s the kind of commute you’d do if you had a high 6 figure salary, not an intro job.
That is pretty standard to me? I had a two hour commute for like 2 years on the train to a part time night shift gig. It basically just becomes guaranteed nap/book time.
Same here. Having lived in Southern California for 25 years, a 2 hour commute was pretty standard. It took me 1.5 hours just to get to college by bus every day.
It depends how much it costs- a return from birmingham to london that gets you there for 9am is £99, and that’s not including your travel either end…
This is why we need HS2 (and for it to run Glasgow-Manchester-Brum-Nodnol and not just Brum-Nodnol).
Whaaaaat? It was like $10 one way for me and only bc I took the cushy bus.
I feel like lengthy commutes are more reasonable/expected in the US than in the UK, though. I think it’s cheaper, too.
Yes. I did that, too. If I had to live life over again, I never ever would have done it. It’s not healthy—at least not in a car. Plenty of other opportunities pop up if you are patient and already have a reliable income (even if it’s less glamorous).
Oh soooo awkward. So i suppose it was about the relationship? The mum is on anwars side now and that’s all that matters. Still calling your son debased to the family is rather embarrassing for everyone involved.
Good grief. His uncle is so matter-of-fact about it.
That went about as well as it could have, really, aside from Momwar’s rather unpleasant initial misunderstanding. I forget how long it’s been since that debacle at the graduation, so it might be questionable that she didn’t mention that her son’s not actually dating by the hour, but Waheed’s being pretty cool about the whole thing, all things considered.
Ahem, I was totally right.
She made a mistake WAY back when she first heard about it. That doesn’t make her a terrible mother, and you are entirely too hard on her.
I never (specifically) said she was a terrible mother /)^3^(\
I just think you’re salty I was right.
Gray, it’s not a contest, this is a complicated situation. This situation is the result of past misunderstandings that Momwar’s beginning to move past. She’s has time to accept a situation which is very uncomfortable to her for her son’s happiness, and for a deeply religious Muslim woman, she’s doing a pretty good job to me. Her past actions just caught up with her, and while yes, what she did was shitty, she obviously regrets it now, and Anwar doesn’t hold it against her, so who’s hurt in this situation?
I like the discussions and debates down here, and I know you’re less forgiving than most, but it’s not fair that you’re dismissing disagreeing voices as just being “salty”. How about you explain your opinion before presuming everyone else is wrong?
He said he’s MRA a few pages back. Of course he doesn’t like the female character lol.
Wow, you just reduced me to a single aspect of myself, and colored it with false assumptions.
You don’t know me, you don’t know anything about me.
There’s literally nothing wrong with supporting men’s rights.
They have a right to rape support and keeping their children.
Go away with that closed-minded one-track thinking, thanks.
“Gray, it’s not a contest…”
I never said it was. It doesn’t have to be a contest for me to be right. I called out Momwar on some really bad behavior, and RoL said I misunderstood the situation. Tyler said I didn’t actually have any facts.
So I cited my sources on the previous page with links to back up the point I was making. RoL and Tyler said I was wrong, but it turns out to be exactly what I said it was.
“Her past actions just caught up with her, and while yes, what she did was shitty, she obviously regrets it now…”
She doesn’t regret how she treated her son and Chris. That’s not what she’s regretting. She’s regretting that her son may be moved away from her, 130 miles away.
At best, she’s acting like a child with her hand caught in the cookie jar.
“I like the discussions and debates down here, and I know you’re less forgiving than most, but it’s not fair that you’re dismissing disagreeing voices as just being “salty”.”
You’re right, a bigger man would not have mentioned anything. But I’m not that man. I’m a pretty good guy, but I’m not humble.
Also, RoL didn’t at all need to reply to my comment: “Ahem, I was right.” RoL obviously felt challenged by this, and decided to reply anyway.
“How about you explain your opinion before presuming everyone else is wrong?”
I did, in the last page. I posted links to other pages, and explained everything clearly and eloquently. Would you like me to copy and paste that response here as well?
As a patreon supporter who has already seen the ending of the comic, I knew what they were talking about and still think you’re wrong. Yeah, she jumped to the wrong conclusion at first – something most in her position would do. Rather than reacting as many in her position would and completely rejecting him, she gave the whole thing time and she came around. She wants her son to be happy and learning that there are ways to be happy outside everything she has known. She’s doing the best she can and is a damn good mom.
http://www.discordcomics.com/comic/shades-after-016/
and
http://www.discordcomics.com/comic/shades-after-012/
Look, that’s what we were talking about. The argument was whether or not she called extended family and told them that Anwar was prostituting himself to Chris. Certain commenters said I was wrong, but in the last page I supplied the above two links to support my claim.
So you know the ending of the comic, and you’re saying she comes around? Okay, but that doesn’t contradict what I was talking about in the previous page. I said that she called extended family and told them Anwar was a prostitute. And that’s what happened.
Not a terrible mother no, but it still isn’t a decision that should be defended. Good people can do a terrible thing and still be good people.
Something I think people can very much forget when reading stories with varied and realistic characters. No person is perfect and every person is guilty of judging, or of reacting poorly due to their emotions, or of not knowing when to stand up for themselves, or… Well, I could go on but you get the picture.
I always find it odd how critical we are of well-written characters for not being perfect. We should be used to it.
Yeah, no, I don’t like her. Not at all.
I am on the fence about her. On one hand she made wild assumptions, lashed out, and said many hurtful things. On the other though she is legitimately trying and her opinion on the subject is changing noticeably. That is a hell of a lot better than most people do.
“That is a hell of a lot better than most people do.”
That’s minimization, and that’s flawed logic.
But I’ll grant she’s starting to come around, but she hasn’t actually apologized to her son for ruining his special moment.
He graduated. That’s supposed to be one of the highest moments of his life. And he came out to his family. But what does she do? She becomes verbally and emotionally abusive.
Yes, once more, I’ll admit that she’s slowly coming around, and she’s starting to show something similar to remorse, but not actual remorse. But here’s my personal opinion: I don’t like her. I don’t have to like her. That’s that.
@Gray
It won’t let me reply to you directly so I’m just replying to my own post.
No one is telling you that you have to like her. As I said I am on the fence about her. I’m simply stating my opinion same as you are.
When I was younger I had a lot of serious anger issues due to serious mental, physical, and sexual abuse. I hurt a lot of people with my lashing out. It took losing a good friend that I cared about a lot to make me sit back and realize that I was the one in the wrong, not the people around me. That how I was raised wasn’t an excuse for what I was doing. Changing that was hard and even after I had that epiphany, it was still a while before I started sitting down and apologizing because it took a while for me to push my anger down enough to do so. Because I knew they deserved better than an apology that might turn accusatory.
My point to this whole story is that many people are raised with incorrect ideals. It isn’t until we are looked in the face with the consequences of our actions though that we can really understand just how wrong we are. Changing your mindset on something is hard and many people are too ignorant to do so. Momwar’s opinions are shit, but she is working on reevaluating an incorrect mindset she has had for years and that hits close to home for me.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure you’ve really improved upon yourself.
“Momwar’s opinions are shit, but she is working on reevaluating an incorrect mindset she has had for years and that hits close to home for me.”
That hits home for you, but that’s you.
I’m judging her based on her actions, not on the intentions the rest of the audience has associated with her. She hasn’t actually done anything redeeming at all.
It’s a story, and like all stories there are going to be characters that people like, and people don’t like.
What I don’t get is why everyone is jumping to defend someone who’s done awful things, and hasn’t really done anything good.
If I say, “I don’t like this person because they’ve done cruel things. They’ve ruined Anwar’s graduation, never apologized, and made phone calls to extended family telling them that Anwar is no selling himself for sex.”
People told me I was wrong, even though I offered links for citation, and on the next page it turns out I was 100% correct.
And people are upset… why? Because I was right? Because I continue not liking someone who was clearly written to be a sort of antagonist?
She did admit, “(Chris) is good for you, isn’t he?” So yes, she is starting to reevaluate her opinion, but hasn’t apologized to either Anwar or Chris. I still don’t like her, and I don’t need to be convinced by anyone that I have to like her.
*…invented intentions the rest of the audience has associated with her.
Little typo.
@Gray – also worth considering, just because we haven’t seen her apologize, doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened. There is a lot that has happened off screen if only because it’d be impossible for Tab to show us everything that’s happened and actually made progress in the story. The fact that she’s coming around and that we’ve seen her acknowledge that Chris is good for him would suggest that it’s certainly possible she has apologized. Tab shows us the moments he feels are most important to telling this story and so something like the cake scene could have just been more important than an apology.
JustSayin:
“Also worth considering, just because we haven’t seen her apologize, doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.”
We’re the audience. It hasn’t been presented to us that she’s apologized.
“Tab shows us the moments he feels are most important to telling this story…”
An apology from Momwar would be pretty important.
Either way, even with that logic in mind, it’s just as likely that she didn’t apologize.
Schrodinger’s cat is both alive and dead. Meow.
@Gray I would disagree, actually, based on comments Tab has made about writing apologies before: “While writing this I was like ‘Anwar should be directly apologising’ but every way I tried to word it sounded fake and like a bad sitcom. I think people say they’re sorry with body language more than words in real life, I hope this comes across here.”
That’s still not an apology.
Waheed is all cool about it and still offers the job. “Path of good?” Please! This is the path to self-sufficiency, and making an honest living to save up and support your mother in her aging years is always good.
Waheed: the cool (although occasionally misunderstanding) uncle.
Nor would it be their business if he *was* a sex worker
Unless they had good reason (ie not moralistic assumptions) to think it was survival sex work as opposed to chosen, anyway
And the correct answer here is “what are the job details, because I’ll need to talk about them with my boyfriend”.
While I’m sure talking with Chris is important, I would think the details would be important so he could make his decision for himself. Having a significant other – especially someone you’re dating but not living with – doesn’t necessarily mean that person gets a say in important life choices like accepting a job offer that probably means moving.
+1
Oh. And here I thought ‘debasing yourself’ was being used figuratively, like ‘an insulting job given your capacities’. That explains some things.