Shades After 066
Here’s to everyone who’s had to stick at an awful job with an awful manager who says awful things under the guise of it being about work ethic or customer relations.
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Wow… I’ve been on both sides of this conversation. Both as the naive kid who thinks, hey, that sort of shit’s discriminatory and illegal and they can’t get away with it; and as the adult who knows better and knows even if you fight them and win, the hell you go through to do it isn’t the kind of hell a lot of people can afford, be it financially, emotionally or in the social repercussions.
I’ve so been here. I had a manager tell me that I couldn’t talk my religious views to customers while I was wearing the uniform because the company was not affiliated with any religion and they didn’t want anyone to think they were. Then there’s been the clothes thing, or the hair thing. I can’t have this color hair because it’s not appropriate (while working at an amusement park, restaurant, similar type job), etc, etc. And I know that there are certain “rules” about what is considered business appropriate, but I really think your attitude is what makes a business look good, not your outward appearance. I’ve had great service and understanding from people who have face piercings and tattoos, and terrible service from men and women in sharp suits and perfectly done hair. Ugh.
What’s even worse is when you really *like* the thing you aren’t “allowed” to wear. Because you want to, all the time, to show off how wonderful it is, and then you’re told you can’t, it’ll make you look like “whatever” and that’s just so disheartening. Like, aren’t I good enough just as I am? With my likes and quirks and my idiosyncrasies? Really, what does one tie matter (or one necklace or a pair of earrings or whatever accessory we’re talking about.)?
See, I don’t understand hair color but I completely understand not allowing you to talk about religious things with customers of any viewpoint.
Well I was on break at the time, and the customer came up to me and asked me what my necklace stood for. So I answered him, and she came over and told me not to talk about that and I was like, “But he asked me…”. At this point I can understand where she was coming from, but at the same time, the necklace was something I was allowed to wear and I wasn’t on the clock. We didn’t have a break room so I had to take my break out in the store. It was a fast food chain.
See there’s a big difference between proselytizing and, “No, I can’t tell you what my necklace means because my boss is a giant paranoid twat. Google that shit”. Some people get a little too overzealous when it comes to looking neutral. Ugh.
Yeah, it was a long time ago, back in 1996, so I’m sure things have changed. I sure wasn’t the proselytizing type. It was also a first job syndrome where I didn’t know where the boundaries were. But still frustrating when you’re allowed to wear something but you aren’t allowed to say, “This means life and health to me and people of my religion.”. I had no idea I wasn’t allowed to talk about it until she came over and was like “You can’t talk about it!”. LOL
Ahh yeah, that’s extreme. Side note: doesn’t matter if you’re on the clock or not if you’re in the workspace and wearing the uniform, as you still visibly represent the company. That said, it’s bullshit you guys didn’t have a breakroom of some sort.
Exactly, which is what I had to realize back then, that I was still visibly representing the company. (I was young) It was a long time ago, but it’s still something that I think back on a lot because that was a big deal for me at the time. I was very much the innocent “everything is good in the world and we have free speech no matter what” type of person. I learned a lesson. And we totally needed a breakroom!
Much as I hate the whole bias against piercings and odd hair colors and such, I remember reading how they found that waiters and waitresses with any of those non-traditional things make less in tips on average. While it sucks that people can be shitty like that, when it comes to professional appearance, the customers are allowed to be judgmental shits and take their business elsewhere, which will actually hurt some businesses.
I wonder how this changes from place to place. The city I live in, tons of people have tattoos, piercings, and/or strange hair colors. I’d even say that it’s the norm here, in some neighborhoods at least. But this whole city isn’t very big on professional appearance. The dude in jeans and a ratty tshirt? he makes six figures at a tech company. The guy in the button down shirt and nice slacks? He’s in retail.
Wow, I wanna live there and go back to my pink and green hair colors. :D
Yeah, when I was serving, I used to do my hair nicely on weekends because it is an absolute fact that looking like you take the time to dress yourself up for work you’re going to get more tips. I almost doubled my tip average just by doing my hair of all things. If I’d been willing to wear make up I might have made even more, but my skin is way too sensitive for that stuff. What I wish the most, was that we would stop encouraging that attitude. This is an actual societal thing and it needs to change. As people we’re changing, but our world isn’t changing with us. It’s frustrating. (Does that make sense?)
Nah, I get it, but until *more* people change (and a bunch of the conservative old wankers knock off) it is what it is.
One of the reasons I’ve never gotten my hair cut the way I want or any face piercing even though I’ve always wanted to.. sigh.
I wouldn’t worry too much about hair cuts, unless it’s something really different like a Jane-hawk or something. I prefer my hair really short and while it used to be weird, now that I’m working it’s seen as “professional”. But even though I want to dye my hair, I aviod that since I work in Texas and having short hair already is too far for some people. But you should cut your hair if you want to, it’s worth it.
It’s 2015, do people still say shit like that??
Ohhhhhhh yeah. Dunno how shitty it is in the UK but in the US over half of the states can fire you for being GLBT without consequence and there are quite a few states that allow businesses to deny you service for daring to be open about your sexuality and/or gender identity in public. And since in the deep south there are customers that would raise a fuss about gay people being happy in their presence businesses DO boot them out.
I don’t really consider the South to be part of the US. I would never, ever live in the Sates ಠ_ಠ
Lol, I’m a born and bred American southerner and believe me, people make it out to be really bad down here. While there is still discrimination of all sorts in this region you can find the same types on the east and west coast. We’re actually a pretty good bunch of people :)
*I would never, ever live in the South.
Wow, how did I screw up that typo?
@Persona:
Y’know I do believe there are very accepting, cool people in the South, and living in the West Coast I can tell you there are plenty of assholes who are so progressive they circle back around to being conservative. And as I have never been to the South for very long, I only have witness testimony telling me that it’s either good or bad.
Bearing in mind that only through experience can the voracity of truth be verified, I’d still rather live in New England than in Georgia ^_^;
I can agree with parts of this. I lived in NC for 2 1/2 years, and I moved to Philly in part for access to good trans health professionals (this reads weird- I’m trans and needed good health care from experienced professionals, is that better?) and in part from just being sick of the constant racist/homophobic/generally bigoted fart cloud that seemed to hang over every interaction I had with everyone. I just got sick of making friends, starting to get comfortable, and then having to back off because of some crap point of view that eventually came to light because of how generally acceptable it is to assume that Christianity is the norm, that white people are best (I’m white, so I was naturally making a lot of white friends), that men should lead their households, that queer people are *insert negative adjective*. The south in general has an interesting relationship with manners as well, where people are more likely to be polite to your face because it’d come back poorly on them if they appeared not to have manners, so it can take a while to find out how people really feel about things. That being said, the southern US does have a lot of queer folks, some quiet and under the radar, and some wild and fierce because you’ve got to be to shine under conditions like those. The south is also full of strong allies who are sick of seeing their friends being treated like shit. I eventually left because I’m used to a different culture entirely- I’m from NY, which is universally regarded as being rude, and I disagree with this. We just don’t have time for bullshit, and we stab you in the front.
‘Bigoted fart cloud’ is the best description of that I’ve heard! :)
I also forgot to say that I totally know what you mean by people who are so progressive that they circle back around to conservative. Some people just want to be counterculture for the sake of doing so, they’re the kids that need to be the most “-est” of whatever phase they’re currently in. Remember that straight edge kid in high school who pissed on everyone’s cigarettes who became a microbrew connoisseur once he was old enough to hit the bars? He lives in Brooklyn now and has a foot long beard, vintage wayfarers, a concealed carry permit and will be voting libertarian in 2016.
Thank you for your testimony, Drake. Culture is a weird thing. I prefer to stay indoors as much as I can.
Officially it would be illegal in the UK, but that doesn’t stop employers getting around it in other ways. Same way as equal pay has been the law since the 70s, but companies have found many, many sneaky ways to pay women less than men (and other marginalised people less than privileged people).
Part of the problem is it’s so very hard to prove. My uncle was a police officer and he said those kinds of cases could be near impossible. Because no matter how many times your boss has commented on your presentation etc it doesn’t prove you weren’t fired/passed over promotion/paid less for legit reasons.
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. This is not legal advice. I do not speak for my employer, I speak for myself.
I have heard that US courts will sometimes take a journal kept with quotes and days/times as a form of evidence of creating a hostile work environment. If your particular class is protected against hostile work environments, well, that varies from state to state a lot. :( This requires that you also give your employer “notice” of a hostile work environment, and give them opportunities to fix it (telling a manager or HR, in writing, counts as notice from what I can tell). One joke is not enough to make a hostile environment; it needs to be a reoccurring pattern for a long period of time.
A bigger harm is that if you do take it to court, you’re probably losing your job and also potential future jobs. :/
And, if you take it to HR, it *might* help at some companies, but, it might just piss off your boss to find out that you went over their head. And then, retaliation could make your situation much worse.
Your best shot, if any, would be to settle-out-of-court in such a way that your name doesn’t show up on anything searchable, and both parties sign an NDA about the whole thing. But, then the company isn’t getting pressured to change their behavior, really, so that’s not great either. And, again, out of a job.
So, uh, yeah, I’m mostly agreeing with everyone that everything is terrible. Keep a journal with times and dates. Talk to HR if you’re feeling brave enough, and give written notice and keep a copy for yourself. If you have the capital to do it, talk to a lawyer.
Poor Chris. I applaud him for putting up with that kind of work environment. I don’t think I could.
The majority of people don’t get to choose what they put up with or not.
I don’t applaud anyone for putting up with such bigotry. I don’t have this expectation for anyone else, but I’d rather tell my boss off than put up with any wrongdoing… which has pissed off the director of my agency to know end when I called out her bullshit in front of everyone :D
You’re lucky to have been able to do that, but there are a lot of people who aren’t in a position where they can afford to do what you did. Many people are in a position where it would cost them their job, the roof over their heads, custody and/or visitation with their children, their ability to provide for their children.
Luck is one thing, JustSayin. While circumstances have aligned so that I work a job that has a union, I still worked damn hard to get where I’m at.
Depending on where you live and what skills you have, though, all the hard work possible won’t get you into a position where you can actually stand up to your employer without risking your job and can afford to take that risk. Not trying to discredit your work or anything, I’m just saying that there are definitely people who’ve worked very hard just to get a job at all and who have a lot more to lose. Were I in such a position, I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut either and would end up either homeless or, were I still fortunate enough to have supportive family, relying on family. Even being the sort who couldn’t just take that sort of bigotry even if it meant losing everything, I do have to applaud those who are stuck dealing with it because their only other options involve losing their homes, children/means of providing for said children.
You have a very good point. I have a friend who, like me, also has a zero-bullshit tolerance when it comes to authority. But, unlike me, he’s not been able to hold onto a job, despite being very hardworking and very ethical.
He once told a former employer that, “I’m going to put the customer first, not you.” Or something like that. Yeah… he didn’t keep that job long.
I’ve also worked in retail before, and when I had enough abuse from my jerk boss, I gave him my 2 weeks notice without any other backup job at all.
Speaking of supportive family, it was a friend of my family that arranged it so I’d get a job with the agency I’m in now. That doesn’t mean she got me the job: I got myself the job, she just opened a door for me.
But I totally see Chris’ side of this… I wonder…
Does Chris still pay child support, despite the fact he doesn’t have access to his children? (I think I remember reading before he can’t have access to his children.)
Uhm, it’s sort of the difference between having a roof over your head and food to eat or not, for most people. Especially in towns where the unemployment rate is quite high. So if you are fine living on the street for a month or two while you job hunt after you nicely told your boss that the tie is fine…..
A good job can be tough to find, so many people don’t have the luxury of speaking their mind or defying their boss. Particularly if they have a family depending on them. I figure, if there are rules about appearance and they are paying my salary, I made my choice when I accepted the job. The real world is not always fair.
I had a job as an assisstant teacher last semester and on my first day they complained about the way I dressed. Apparently it was too “casual”. But it was only the female teachers that were expected to dress “professionally” (whatever that means). Nobody cared that the male teachers were running around school in t-shirt and jeans…
Ugh. That’s awful and I’m so sorry. :(
Yeah it’s super illegal in the UK… good luck proving that and getting round all the bureaucratic bullshit though.
I wanna give Chris a hug :(
Wow. Poor Chris. I just want to scoop him up and hug him.
I’ve seen it happen many times, all they have to say is that your work performance is bad; most aren’t dumb enough to state the real reason. Also in the USA they don’t even need a reason, unless you are union.
Time for Chris to find a new job.
Chris’s hand in that last panel! And neck in the middle panel, and arms in the first panel! And hair in all three! I’m just really loving the way Chris is drawn in this scene :)
When it comes to work I’m so deep into the closet I can practicly see Narnia. I also work a job where it totally matters how you look and beeing female(ish, but that doesn’t really matter) if I cut my hair too short I’m perceived as immature, excentric etc. Life sucks, but that’s not the point, the point is I’m not quite: I’m not quite gay and not quite trans and not quite ace and I just not quite fit and reading the comments around here makes me feel not quite the fuck-up I tend(ed) to consider myself. I write this as a “thank you” note I guess – for the commenters who make me feel less alone and for Tab for creating something awesome (said a long time lurker social anxiety sufferer)
As a white-collar worker for the military industry, I can see both sides of this.
On one hand yeah, I gotta dress professionally for work. No sloganned t-shirts, no ripped sleeveless tees, no kilt, etc. 100% serious, on any given day I might have to talk to an admiral. And men that have had to wear a uniform with the same hair cut for 20+ years aren’t known for being terribly tolerant of super casual dress.
On the other hand if anyone ever told me I was dressing too gay I’d flip the fuck out on them. That said, I’m pretty sure having pictures of my wedding on my desk at work does a fair job of stopping those conversations before they start.