Shades After 058
In my scripting notes that guy is called ‘Mr Douchebag’
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“I don’t really care about gender anyway” says the guy who starts off his conversation with declaring his gender fetish. Man, this guy is a huge sumlord.
Wow how attractive is this guy, just makes me kind of want to PHYSICALLY ASSAULT HIM
Anwar’s wince is such an appropriate response. Poor JD…stuff like that sucks, especially when douche didn’t listen and just talks over them to continue asserting fetishes. Ugh….
This is what misogynistic orientalism looks like. Although I’m coming from the opposite experience of JD, their experiences of waves of gross douchey dudes resonates with me. Who else wants to stomp on this guy’s genitals so he can’t reproduce? There are times when I wish it were possible to just educate all people (in particular, white cishet men) that NO means NO and that they are not entitled to everything.
“(in particular, white cishet men)”
…like tab?!
(to clarify, i find it ironic at best and hypocritical at worst to be SPECIFICALLY naming/blaming a group for being “entitled” and not understanding that “NO means NO” when the creator of the comic that’s exploring these issues is a member of the very group you’ve called out (as far as i know, at least- and if not, sorry for mislabeling you, tab!).
i was not trying to ‘call out’ tab. far from it.)
Um… Tab is white, but not cishet. And this just reeks of “not all men” whining. This is probably the least welcome place for any of that bullshit….
It’s not “whining” when you’re defending yourself or a group you belong to, (such as men, Caucasians, ect) from constant insinuations (or, in a lot of cases, flat-out statements) that you’re all rapists and/or sexual harassers. I swear, it seems like a new trend on the internet to to blame every single issue on men, cis people, white people or straight people, and then everyone else acts like it’s ridiculous when white/straight/cis/men are upset by it.
Ugh, take your poor little white tears elsewhere. Throw facts away and white about how “not all white cis men” are blah blah whatever. We don’t care anymore. White privilege has dominated American society long enough, it’s about time people started talking about it. The world just now gets a little hard for you and you want to cry? Black men have been called rapists and savages for centuries by white men who run around doing worse things. Whitewashed history has to stop somewhere, buddy.
Get over yourself, whitey.
*sigh* right, to be honest, I don’t give a flying fuck where you come from, what colour your skin is, or who your ancestors were; labelling or generalising an entire group of individual unique people is not okay. We are all humans. The most advanced species on earth. Let’s start acting like it.
You can’t pretend to care about racism, and in the same comment, use a person’s race as an insult and blatantly say you don’t care about the negativity they’re facing because of their race.
Wow…. I’m non-violent, but I really have to hold myself back from bitchslapping anyone who calls a person “whitey” or “darky” or likes to refer to me as “redskin” or “halfbreed” so seriously, shut up while you’re behind. No racism or sexism or genderism here in any form, okay? No “it’s white/black/brow/red/purple people’s fault” or “it’s men/women/whatever who are at fault”
So perpetuating the bullcrap solves the problems?
Doing what and acting like people of the past did solves nothing.
Tad presumptive is it not?
Funny. White cis/het Christian douchefucks have generalized minorities – women, POC, gay, trans, disabled – for CENTURIES. Sure does suck for them to get a taste of their own medicine.
As for your call out at Tab, you are WAY off, motherfucker. Tab’s one of us. Take your bullshit elsewhere.
Yeah, because treating an entire subset of people like shite solely because some people of that subset have done the same to people of your subset makes perfect sense. This whole Us vs. Them nonesense doesn’t do anyone any good. We’re all human and the sooner we all start treating each other like it and calling out individuals for their individual behavior instead of blaming them because of the color of the skin, the arrangement of their genitals, their belief system or their orientation (or whatever else you want to use to divide us) the better off we’ll all be. This goes for all sides of this ridiculous argument. As a trans, queer, pagan, poly and otherwise minority person, it makes me sick when people like you lump me in with your hateful generalized statements making it out like all white, cis, het, Christian men are, as you so lovingly put it “douchefucks”. Save for the Christian bit, I happen to be married to a fantastic white cis het man, who stayed by my side even through transition. I’m living with another white cis het man who did the same. So, if you could stop lumping them in with the assholes too, I’d greatly appreciate it.
You know…we could try to be *better* than the people who put us down…just saying.
“Sure does suck for them to get a taste of their own medicine.” When does dosing out more poison help humanity? It sucks that anyone feels inferior to anyone else, and prejudice is never constructive, no matter what cause or justification you label it.
And please don’t phrase it as “Tab is one of us.” Tab is human, we’re all human, and when you phrase it like that it makes cis hets like me feel like I’m not part of some exclusive club, an outsider, like I should not be here. It makes me cringe, kinda like Anwar to “Mr. Douchebag” here.
Now you know how LGBT folks feel.
I may not be the perfect example of the LGBT community, but as someone who identifies as a genderfree queersexual, I don’t condone putting other people down because people like the person being put down has done the same to others.
You’re just making up excuses to be a bully, like a bully would.
Hardly. They want to other me for being queer, I’ll do the same to them. And fucking hell this was originally calling out cis guys for their shit. Way to go all smear the queer on another fag for being rightfully pissed at cis/hets whining about shit they brought on themselves.
Which the ones alive right now had nothing to do with, unless proven otherwise, so all you’re doing is making them hate you personally and quite probably turning away several allies from the various sides that need it. Also, the vast majority of people I’ve seen express the views you are doing turn out to be white cishet fifteen-year-olds. Just sayin’.
Wow, this guy is being kinda a creep.
In real life, that guy’s name is Mr. Douchebag. He’s a raging one, in fact.
i know this guy, he also goes by the name of ” i’m attracted to you, but im strait”… or is that just his catchphrase…
Mr. Douchebag. Sounds like an acceptable name to me.
Yep I’ve run into those; I’ll bet nearly everyone has.
Mr Douchebag’s design actually reminds me of a video game character. Who is not a douchebag.
Buuuut yeah, having to educate strangers… Eurgh. Maybe they need to carry little cards with an explanation on it. “This is the situation and no I don’t want to explain it SEVERAL TIMES A DAY.”
those cards sound useful
Actually the idea came from when my mother had a stroke. She had temporary dysphasia and someone suggested making little explaination cards. I don’t know if she ever did (we’re not on the best of terms) but I did think they’d also be useful for things you don’t WANT to explain repeatedly, not just for when you can’t. :)
Considering that people have business cards for when people are being bad parkers, having cards to explain this kind of thing actually seems like a brilliant idea.
Actually the little card idea is something that I’ve seem a lot of people do not just stroke victims but it’s something the service workers at the clinic did help set up for kids with mental and extreme physical issues.
So it’s more widely used than I thought? I wonder how well they actually work. I considered making some for when I have panic attacks, before realising that I would NOT have the presence of mind mid-attack to give anyone a card…
They are used for a lot of things. Actually a article ran in the Toronto star that a mum of a kid who had autism has a little sign she keeps on her backpack asking people to be patient with them because her son has severe autism and gets fustrated on the TTC. She said it’s been helping them get a lot more positive reactions from people rather than negative causing her son to be less stressed out on the train.
are there any examples that you know of/ca easily link to online? i love the idea but wouldnt know where to start… Cheers
Possibly a medical alert bracelet? (I’m guessing the purpose is to announce, “I am having a panic attack, please stand by,” and possibly state where you keep your meds.)
…Although a medical alert bracelet that read, “Ask me for a panic attack card” might also work.
Ew. What a creep. Why hasn’t he been thrown out yet? Ugh. They’re being way too nice to Douchelord here. I am so much more comfortable interrupting people than they are, it seems; I would’ve tried to shut this convo down already. (I had to do that earlier today, in fact, when a dude in documentary history basically tried to get me to shut up about sexism in films. Hahahahahah that didn’t work.) I want to just jump into the page and be like, “EXCUSE YOU, BRUH, LET THEM FINISH THEIR SENTENCE BEFORE YOU PLOW ON AHEAD LIKE AN INCONSIDERATE CREEP.” UGHHHHHH
I guess War and JD are very English? I’m told I’m pretty assertive person but I wouldn’t really know how to shut them down either.
It’s simple: you tell then to fuck off. That’s not easy to learn how to so, but the thing you have to remember is you are not obligated to be nice to people who are disrespecting you. JD tried to be nice but he isn’t listening to her, therefore is not entitled to a polite response.
The problem with people like this little shit is that they think they’re owed something, they’re entitled to whatever person they want so they really don’t care what you actually think or are doing at the time. This is the kind of asshole who would pull off someone’s head phones if they want to talk to them. So, if someone hits on you, and you politely turn them down once and they keep going, feel free to be a bitch, you’re going to get called one regardless, probably.
I think my not knowing how to respond comes from a lack of experience here: I don’t tend to get hit on. I guess that’s partly cos I don’t have much of a ‘life’ but having a tiny build and looking/dressing like I haven’t entirely hit puberty probably helps. I generally get mistaken for 12-14 year old until I open my mouth.
There’s also a sort of….when something like this comes out of nowhere while you’re going about your day I feel like it blindsides me a little, and by the time I’ve stopped wincing, my brain has rebooted and I’ve figured out what to say it’s over and whoever it was has moved on.
That’s actually a very normal response. I forget the fancy name, but I basically call it the Freeze response. People think it’s just Fight or Flight, but there’s also a third option, Freeze. I still have trouble not doing that when I’m sexually harassed. Something like over 80% of sexual assault survivors experience the freeze reaction, where you’re sort of on autopilot or have an almost out-of-body experience. All mammals have this, apparently.
Yyyyup. I’ve also received flak for “freezing”.
“You should have fought back! (Against the guy a foot taller and half again your weight…)” “This is what I did when someone sexually threatened me! You were wrong for reacting differently!” “You should have called for help!”
A delicious trifecta of victim blaming… all from my mother.
Man I did not mean to tangent there. I guess you, uh, reminded me of it and I had to get the rant out.
The freeze response actually reminds me of dissociation – where you freeze up to get the situation over and done with. If you fight back, then the situation can become more painful and overdrawn, so dissociation is sometimes the natural response. It’s similar to an out-of-body experience. Or so I hear. This is from my own psychology research.
Huh. OK so I knew about freezing in physical assault situations (which I’m lucky enough to have never experienced) and in mammals/birds actually (apparently a major contribution to the decline of New Zealand wildlife is a high tendency to freeze, due to a predominance of sight-based predators. This doesn’t work on dogs and cats-). I’d not thought to apply that to verbal confrontations but it makes a lot of sense.
“JD tried to be nice but he isn’t listening to THEM, therefore is not entitled to a polite response.”
Pronouns
I realize that and now I feel like a total dick to a fictional character, but there is no edit button. That was an honest mistake, sorry to any gender neutral people present.
Also back to the fight/fight/freeze, people shouldn’t knock the freeze option. Yeah it’s super lame to not do anything but that freeze option has probably saved many people during a rape. Now if society would catch up and realize “why didn’t you fight back” is the dumbest thing to say when the body shuts down to protect itself, that would be swell. The only time fighting back works is if you are a martial artist trained to act on reflex, or you can get your panic down to a level where your higher functions can take over, a difficult thing to do when you’re being attacked
I actually do/have done a fair few martial arts and anecdotally heard that martial artists often freeze, because it gets drummed into us to you know….not seriously maim people we’re sparring with.
I’d guess my instinctive response would be fight, based on a self-defense course I had to do once. The instructor said I had a tendency to ‘chase’ ie instead of backing away when I’d broken out of his holds etc I’d turn and go for him. If he backed off I followed. If he went down I’d try and put the boot in. These are, from a legal pov, very bad responses. I also know that other instincts my hobbies encouraged would be flat out dangerous- as I said I’m small, so judo taught me that I can’t throw other people much so I may as well wait to be on the ground and go for the armlocks/strangles I am good at. *Terrible* strategy in real life. Similarly capoeira guards, mostly involve ducking/hitting the floor and capoeira attacks tend to assume you’re armed.
I admit I have been guilty of assuming my response to a physical situation is ‘standard’ but there’s no ‘right’ instinct in a physical attack and no ‘right’ method if you do fight. I sometimes overthink it and wonder if this ‘fight’ instinct is related to problems I get with anger and aggression (which martial arts helped me control). I also worry about….what it says about me I guess? I can talk about depression easy but problems with aggression……that’s much more taboo. I guess what I’m saying is that if the ‘fight’ instinct comes with these emotions attached as standard it’s really not a great thing to have.
That is totally an appropriate reaction, but it’s really difficult for a lot of people to be straight-up rude to people who deserve it.
A good approach I found that is low-conflict but still very pointed is to give someone your most withering look and just stare at them like that and be like, “REALLY?” Then ignore them. Let them fill the awkward silence or try to fix it. Or, instead of “REALLY,” there’s also “WOW.” or even the good old disgusted scoff.
Tried that last time someone was being really racist and it totally failed. And then I felt like an idiot for not saying the three dozen things I thought of afterwards-
Crossover time: Fred Aura strides in, drags Mr Douchebag away, and explains to him that doing things like this is utterly crap.
Better yet, Jamie comes in and breaks a foot off in the guys ass. -shrug-
I’d read the hell outta that… Though, I was always partial to Jaime’s evolution as a character.
That fits completely with my headcanon that JD and Charlie are housemates XD
I don’t fully understand the issue here. He says he’s physically attracted to JD and does not care about gender, so it would not matter to him what JD identifies with. Where exactly is the insult everyone else sees? Sure, its a shallow approach and he interrupts JD, but besides that?
Opening a conversation with “I like you because you’re [gender descriptor]” and then backtracking with “I don’t care about gender” = kind of a bad move.
Calling someone’s gender identity and/or race “exotic” = very, very bad move.
Also, I might be wrong, but my understanding is that many people consider “ladyboy” to be a racist and transmisogynist slur.
Thanks for explaining. Still, it does not feel like an insult (to me at least), because ‘Mr Douchebag’ seems to use these terms in lack of a better description, not because he wants to insult JD. He sees what he likes and ends up being ‘Mr Douchebag’ due to his ignorance. Even if these are gender descriptors, he might simply lack to be aware of this, even more so because it does not matter to him. Well, this boils down to the question: Is it an insult if he’s not aware of it?
True: it’s not an insult. Insults are intentional, and Mr Douchebag isn’t actually intending to insult. His rudeness comes from carelessness rather than intent. It’s still a problem.
TRiG.
I’d say so. And in addition JD is trying to explain their identity to him, and he’s too busy projecting his own fantasies all over them to listen. Nothing says “you are an awesome person and I want to get to know you better” worse than ignoring what the person you’re talking to says about themselves.
oh he ends up being Mr Douchebag wayyyy before the ladyboy comment. I would say he starts off by being a douchebag. And if you can’t see why then I’m sorry for you. I might find the time later to explain but not now.
Mr Douchebag may not mean to be insulting but even without his attitude to JD’s gender it’s really not a nice way to approach someone. To me anyway it sort of……implies that all he’s seeing in JD is a sex-thing rather than a person. It’s difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly does that though. I *think* it’s the initial approach, not a ‘Umm hi I think you’re hot/pretty can I get your number and we meet for coffee?’ but straight in with a much more personal observation on JD’s gender and build. It’s crass. Kinda like approaching a woman and going ‘Wow great tits, can I get your number?’
Actually I think that’s my best comparison/explaination there- if you saw a cis guy approach a cis woman with that what would you assume his intentions were and how justified do you think she’d be in throwing a drink over his head? *shrugs* I am glad this is something I don’t have to deal with people like Mr Douchebag often.
He’s a douchebag for “cold approaching” (walking up to someone out of the blue with an attempt at a pickup is a dick move) someone, especially as they were in the middle of a game. That makes his approach and attempt at flirting both creepy anyway, and rude for interrupting a game. Hes a douchebag for calling them “butch”, for assuming he knows their gender (not the worst move but also not a great one), for fetishizing their assumed gender (the “Im totally into the butch ladies” thing is fetishizing and gross). He’s a douchebag for outright refusing to liusten to their complaints, objections, or in fact anything they sday at all – it might not be intentional, he might not be consciously aware hes doing it, but this is classic “What I have to say is more important than your comfort right now”. He’s a douchebag for using “ladyboy”, which arguabley he isnt aware is an insult, but that doesnt change that it is one. He’s a douchebag for the exotic comment, which is even more fetishizing and gross. ANd then that backpeddaling at the end is jsut the cherry on the cake really.
Even if he doesnt realise “exotic” “butch” and “ladyboy” are insults, his overall behaviour and attitude are douchey
And Im very sorry, btw, for my terrible typing skills and lack of proof reading
You’re not trans, genderfluid, genderqueer. Maybe YOU don’t think it’s insulting, but we do. I pity your lack of humanity.
Where did I say I was not trans, genderfluid or genderqueer? Anyway, I won’t give you an answer to that question, as this is a very personal matter to me I do not like to tell strangers.
What I want to say: I do not like to see people as something different because they are trans, for example. For me, there is no “I” and “them” (or “we” and “you”, as in your case). I really do not like it when other people try to create a gap, where imho does not exist one. All people should be seen as a welcome part of society, it does not matter what one identifies with. Please stop supporting this compartmentalisation.
The problem rises in that one can be extremely offensive without ever intending to. People repeating slurs without knowing that the words they’re using are slurs still cause a lot of hurt. That having been said, often people assume a stance of ignorance is no excuse and decide that because a person doesn’t know better, they’re immediately absolute scum that could never be educated. While I suspect that might be true for a character Tab’s dubbed “Mr. Douchebag” I’ve dealt with people who made similar comments who, when handled in a polite attempt at education, actually respond well.
I just want to add to the other comments on why this guy is a jerk. Everyone else seems to have touched on the sexual creepiness so I think that’s covered, but it’s also important to point out his use of “exotic” and how that is often used as a sort of racist description used to sexualize Asian women or other minorities. Google “yellow fever” and how Asian women are treated on dating sites, for example.
Thanks for the hint on yellow fever, which was quite interesting to investigate. Interestingly, some sources claim that the white man/ asian woman form of interracial dating is so common because asian women discriminate mostly against black and hispanic men, but not against white men.
In general, I find this topic very difficult to discuss. True, there are men which sexualize women because they are Asian. On the other hand side, it is not unusual to find interest in something exotic, as in “not common here”. Also, some women purposefully objectify themselves.
The insult here is also in the fact that JD is trying to show that they’re not interested, but Mr Douchebag isn’t listening. He’s totally ignoring JD’s attempts to shutdown the situation, because he’s only interested in what he can get out of it, and not what she thinks or wants. He’s not called Mr Douchebag for nothing – the worst thing a person can do is not know when No means NO!
Plus, there’s that Mr Douchebag associated ‘ladyboys’ with the Thai ethnicity. He’s made an assumption about J.D. based on their ethnicity, their perceived sex and gender, and thought (pardon me for this following thing) “Oooh, butch lady who looks Oriental, don’t mind if I do!” That kind of awful awful shit.
But even if Mr. Douchebag wasn’t being super insensitive, JD is not looking to get picked up right now, they’re trying to play a game. There is nothing more rude and obnoxious than trying to pick someone up when they are CLEARLY occupied with something else. It’s a complete lack of respect on Mr. Douchebag’s part, and after JD is trying to explain that they’re in the middle of a game he just keeps right on talking, because he doesn’t actually care about JD as a person, just an exotic toy. It’s absolutely degrading.
Also, this may just be me, but ‘I don’t care about gender’ can feel kinda dismissive – people who say that kind of thing usually mean it literally, and will get confused/annoyed at your requests for them to do more than just try to use the proper pronouns (e.g. if they make mistakes and you correct them, or if you ask them to stop making crass jokes or etc.)
Now, if he’d said he was pansexual that would be another story altogether, but as it is that was definitely a wince-worthy thing for him to say. It’s a bit like when people go on about being ‘race-blind’.
Some people don’t care about gender because they think it’s a harmful social construct. Those people are NOT blind to biological sex, and the discrimination issues with regard to it, and not prone to making crass jokes.
Of course, this guy likely means “I don’t care about gender, I’ll have sex with anything that has a vagina”, which is very insulting, as it can be rephrased as “I’m looking for a vagina to stick my penis into, can I use yours?”. [irony] What a Prince Charming. [/irony]
His ‘I don’t care about gender’ shit sounds rather like a white cishet boy trying to pick up a black cis woman with ‘I don’t care about race/I don’t see skin colour’ – which I’m fairly sure we know sounds rather like ‘I don’t care what you have to say about your lived and cultural experiences or values as a person of colour in a white-normative society; you’re gonna fulfill a fetish for me.’
Oh, yeah, people like that also exist – and in those cases, ‘I don’t care about gender’ is another matter entirely. I mean, I’d even go so far as to argue that it isn’t accurate to say that such people don’t care about gender, because in order to have an actively negative opinion on something you still need to have considered it. Which is a good thing, I’d like to clarify – it means being aware of the influence this kind of thing has on people’s lives, for better or for worse, and putting some consideration into the issue. It’s a conscious version of ‘not caring’, which I view on a very different level than this guy’s dismissive tone.
Ah excellent phrasing D:
I am pansexual (and genderqueer, actually) and I do care about a person’s gender – as in using the terms they prefer, not making assumptions, and in general just not being a jerk! Yeah, you’re right, it can feel very dismissive; it’s really a dismissal of a person’s experiences, good or bad. (“Hey, you’ve experienced a lot of discrimination because you don’t conform to gender expectations, but that’s OK, I don’t even acknowledge how you’re expressing your gender ID …”)
Whoops – hope my reply didn’t suggest that I was lumping pan people in with this guy. I was trying to explain that it wouldn’t have been as rude if he’d meant ‘gender doesn’t factor into my sexual/romantic preferences’ (AKA that he was pan, which seems to be how the original commenter took it) but of course that isn’t actually what he’s saying at all. But yeah, these comments sum up my point nicely; there’s a world of difference between ‘this doesn’t factor into my romantic interests’ and ‘I don’t care about your ‘gender’ as long as I get to fuck you’.
Oh! Sorry, I didn’t think you were doing so. Mostly it just made me think about the subject a little – with pretty much the same sort of conclusion you listed: Gender isn’t a “selection criteria” for me in a partner, but I do care about being supportive of gender identity.
He’s essentially reducing JD to an attribute. “I don’t care who you actually are, I’m only interested in you as an object.” It’s great that he (supposedly) doesn’t care about what gender JD is, but he’s not treating them as a human being – only a conquest.
See also: chasers.
I like to think of it like if you substitute the gender/identity/whatever being mentioned with “black”. So if you walked up to a POC and went ” hey, I think blacks are sexy, wanna go somewhere?”, how punched in the face do you think you’d be?
Effectively, it’s saying “the only thing I find interesting about you is your genitals/skin colour/whatever, come entertain my superficial interest because you are nought but a tool to satisfy my bigoted lust”.
On a lighter note, what kind of Modern deck do people think JD likes to play?
Suicide Black.
JD, his groin is like, RIGHT THERE. Extend fist, apply force. Done.
And isn’t “douchebag” as an insult sexist, being a personal hygiene product for women?
I find him a bit endearing, seems like a cheerful, open guy. Points off for being too persistent, though.
No, it’s okay. Vaginas don’t actually need to be douched, it is bad for the bacteria that keep them healthy. Therefore, “douchebag” is the perfect word for something that harms women, is completely superfluous, and the world would be better off without – like this guy.
I adore your comparison. “Douchebag” will now be a term I use for those who fit your description. <3
Exactly.
@moonrose- yes yes yes yes & yes.
There is nothing endearing about being treated like a sex toy. This guy is a creep, plain and simple.
Ugh, how do such people get through life without acquiring even the slightest bit of good manners? I’m not exactly socially adept myself, but not labeling other people is kind of self-explaining, or isn’t it? And that is not even taking into account the situation, which is one where it is pretty obvious JD doesn’t want to be interrupted.
Is getting hit on a thing at magic tournaments? I’ve never actually been to one, but another comic I read just did a storyline about a lady and an ambiguously gendered character getting hit on while trying to play cards.
Oh gee I wonder what comic that could be…
Anyway, yeah, (sort of) in the words of Grace, I figure every woman has to deal with it to some extent. Either being hit on, or being put down because the douchebag in question doesn’t think she’s “worthy” of being hit on. Logic goes the same way as empathy and decency for those asshats.
I don’t know about magic tournaments, but in male-dominated hobbies there’s a high probability that any woman who takes part in it will be hit on more than average. (Yeah, I know JD doesn’t identify as female, but that guy clearly thinks JD’s a girl). So, if that game’s player base is anything like D&D, that’s probably the case.
Wow… What is it? Most of the Dbags I’ve run into have looked like this guy (except they usually had an early receding hairline)—white, blonde hair and all. One dick actually had the nerve to sit on a counter in my cubicle to “chat” while I was trying to get work done. Never had I been so annoyed with someone. Then another one at another job looked like the previous creepy dude’s twin. It turned out that he was not only married, but lived in my neighborhood. He was a bit too friendly.
Curious, is JD half Thai half British or full Asian? because if she’s the former, I’ve never seen a half Thai person (including myself and my siblings) who actually “looked” Thai. me and my siblings have very often been described as Maori or Polynesian or along those lines…
Might want to reconsider the pronouns there, especially on a page of this topic…
Whoops! No disrespect meant. I guess I was so engrossed with the epigenetics of oriental descended folks and their interactions with Europeans that I forgot to use a gender neutral pronoun. Apologies everyone!
Alex is right. You want to use “they” as a pronounce for JD.
But yes, it’s possible. Genetics are interesting and skin color/eye shape and other features can really present in different ways depending on your parents and what genes decide to express themselves. When you come from an interracial family you can really end up resembling either parent’s race or look somewhere in the middle.
My junior high BFF’s dad was Irish-American (literally he immigrated to the US from Ireland as a child) and her mom was Thai (she immigrated to the US after they got married). My friend looked a lot like her mom—except she had her dad’s forehead and her eyes were in between (not slanted as a Thai person’s, but not as round as a white person’s eyes either). She was also petite, but still taller than her mom. She also had darker skin like her mom, too. So, to a white person who hasn’t been around a lot of Asian people, she looked Thai.
Then I had another friend who’s mom was 3/4 white and his dad was black. His skin was as dark as his dad’s and his hair was wonderfully curly. When it was cut short, you’d never know he was part-white. Another friend looked very white even though her dad was African-American.
My sister and my daughter have my grandmother’s slightly-slanted eyes (grandma was 1/2 Native American), and the rest of our family (including my husband’s) is Northern European descended.
I wonder if this is related to epigenetics? (science of how/why genes are turned on or off and expressed or not, affects more than one generation) That often gets studied in relation to diabetes but there’s strong evidence of it affecting height in humans so I wonder if it also impacts on looks and which parent you resemble. Sorry- tangent
This shows just how much of an optimist I am. I see an idiot but a potentially open minded idiot and see a teaching moment.
Many people only learn this stuff from porn, which while the attraction is legitimate, the content they have available teaches them the wrong way to approach a situation.
I completely agree with your POV. He’s an idiot, saying douchebaggy things, but this could be a teaching moment.
..That is, if he shuts up and tries to listen to what JD says.
I dunno, but if someone gets his entire knowledge about people from porn, there’s something wrong with him, not just ignorance. I mean, one can choose to consume other media. I got much of my knowledge about people from Jane Austen’s novels, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Or did you mean his knowledge about not-cisgender-people? Anyway, there are some basic rules that always apply if you talk to people, and he broke several of them. I doubt whether that amount of douchebaggery can be explained with plain ignorance.
Sure it can be a teachable moment, but I’m 100% sure JD’s life would be full to the brim with teachable moments, and that can be trying and exhausting. I can definitely see just, “Leave me alone” as a completely acceptable response.
This guy literally makes me think of the ‘str8 & curious’ guys you get on grinder and the such like. I appreciate that you want to explore sexuality, don’t use me as some go between excuse.
I’m really disappointed with some of the comments being posted here. Violence is never okay, no matter how much you may disagree with someone. If someone says something you disagree with, the correct response is to ignore them or to tell them to go away. Not to assist them. Also you all need to keep in mind this is a comic. It is art.
The creator is an artist. It’s really not your place to make comments on their personal life, which I’m sure they want to keep to themselves. Also generalizing both cis and trans groups is insulting on so many levels. You all need to calm down and take a good look at yourselves and the sort of things you are saying.
“You all need to calm down and take a good look at yourselves and the sort of things you are saying.”
Condescending much?
No, accurate when people are advocating violence because of words, and the very people who should know better than anyone why it’s hurtful and wrong are generalizing and attacking entire groups of people.
I’m really flabbergasted that there are people who are defending this guy or don’t understand why he’s rude. He literally came up to JD without even introducing himself, while they were playing cards with someone else (i.e. clearly not open for flirtation) and started making advances.
He then went on to make sexual hints/comments, and turned to complete opposite way going “LOL, I don’t care about gender anyway”, despite his initial pickup line being solely based on JD’s presumed gender. Every single thing that came out of his mouth was rude, I’m not even going to touch the “exotic thai ladyboy” thing. Not to mention that Anwar might have been JD’s boyfriend for all he knew. If someone like that approaches you, you really shouldn’t give them the time of the day, unless you want to enrage yourself.
Good point about Anwar potentially being JD’s partner. I didn’t even think of that, this made even worse O_O
Eh, the fact that someone has a partner should be no greater obstacle to approaching them than the fact that they’re busy and obviously not interested. (And, as JD’s relationship proves, being partnered is not … actually an obstacle at all for some people. Though it IS rude to not include someone’s partner when talking to them.)
Wow, didn’t think I’d see cishet white ppl whining on discord comics about cishet white people being called out but okay. Weird.
I’m gonna stop reading the comment section before y’all disappear into your own anuses, and form my own opinions on the comic. Ty