Shades After 052
Let the awkward ensue…
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That’s… a really expensive gift. Not to mention that computers are hard to get the right specifications for. I know Chris means well, but I would have a lot of trouble accepting such an expensive gift, even if I had dated someone for a while. I’m pretty sure Anwar feels the same about that…
There’s a lot of cheap ways to get laptops. Refurbished, pre-owned- he’ll, if Chris is good enough he might be able to make one, which may cost more than a refurbished (maybe) but would make it very personal.
I understand the point, I feel awkward about expensive gifts too. But my immediate assumption was that it wasn’t new and shiny.
It’s Anwar possibly just maybe hiding on the toilet in the first panel….
Hella awkward, but Chris is so adorably happy and excited about it all. I’d also be uncomfortable with such an expensive gift, but I do feel Chris put a lot of thought and effort into getting Anwar a new laptop, which is to be appreciated…
It’s funny because I’ve been on both sides of this sort of thing and know how they feel.
I sometimes don’t think about the value of a gift to someone else if it is easily in my budget. It’s what they need, I can provide it, so bang, I want to give. I love being generous.
On the flip side, receiving something like that, even knowing it was easily in someone else’s budget leaves me feeling like the cosmic balance of the relationship is askew, and no matter how many assurances of “no strings” it does colour how I think about future needs to compromise. (They gave me X, so I probably should let them pick the movie tonight … which is never quite enough, and just reinforces my idea of the imbalance.)
I’d feel bad. Chris looks so happy, but computers are one thing I don’t like being gifted. I have stuff that I want and like and I’d prefer to purchase it myself since that’s something that’s $300+; for the things I want it to be capable of doing. And the more expensive the gift, the stronger the lingering feeling of needing to compensate becomes.
Blahg. I hope this doesn’t get too crazy.
I totes get how both of them feel. My view on giving gifts is how much the person getting it will like/use/needs it. My view on receiving gifts, on the other hand, is that I don’t want people to spend money they might not necessarily have on me.
Which, of course, means it’s difficult to reach a happy medium.
I think it’s more than just a “jeez, this is a really expensive gift” sort of thing. In just the last page, he made a point to tell his mother that Chris doesn’t buy him things or cater to him – he sure seems to be concerned about quelling the chance that his mom takes this to be a “sugar daddy” sort of situation just after she finally started to really accept them together.
As sweet as it is that Chris did this, I think most people would be uncomfortable accepting such an expensive gift. But when he goes home and sees his mom, he’s also got to explain where this laptop comes from not long after specifically telling her that Chris doesn’t buy him stuff like this. I think that complicates it all as well.
Definitely. I think, without that, he’d probably say, “I really appreciate the thought, but please don’t buy something so expensive for me again.” Now, though, those conversations are hanging over his head.
I got that impression too. It was poorly timed, considering that Anwar’s currently trying to push back against the idea of Chris as a ‘sugar daddy’ or anything of that kind. Not that Chris knew that, of course!
I tend to find myself in Chris’s shoes here all too often. A couple years ago, I found myself finally in the position where I could actually afford to buy things that had previously struck me as super expensive and definitely not impulse buys. I went from that below poverty, poor college student to well off, financially stable adult and many of the people in my social circle still haven’t made that jump. Because of this, when we go out, I almost always insist on treating. When I see things that they’d like or need, I rarely think twice. If we’re long distance, I pay for the flights for them and/or myself to visit. When their laptop finally kicks the bucket because it’s been two years over due to be replaced, I find something that they can use that is more capable than their last machine (although, this one doesn’t usually require purchasing as I’m in a unique position of being partnered to a tech blogger and so we always have spare laptops, netbooks, cell phones and tablets lying about from his reviews.) Sometimes, they accept these things because they’re in a position where it’s a need that they can’t meet themselves, but often there is reluctance. I do my best to explain, I can afford these things and because I am in a position to be able to help, I want to. I know some people feel this creates an imbalance or like they owe the person gifting them, but a couple years ago, I was on the other side of that equation so I really just see it as paying it forward. I don’t expect anything in return for it except that if they get to a point where they can help other people (even if not in the same ways) that they do so. Karma, ya know?
I absolutely want to be that person, you are my life goal :p. But you know when they’re your friends they know you’re not doing it with ulterior motives. I’ve dropped hundreds of dollars on friends before, but they were for very important reasons and they knew I did it because we’re friends and that’s just what friends do. But when you’re in a very new relationship and you don’t know the person well enough yet it can be super awkward, which is what is happening between Chris and Anwar.
I love the story device here, as.. well, whether Anwar keeps it or not is sort of a moot point, from the very first panel, letting us just concentrate on the dispute.
I know you get a lot of praise for your art, but for narrative technique, that’s a great step up!
Additional useful narrative point by mentioning they’ve been together 3 months as I had lost track xD
A handy reminder for my own writing development :)
Anwar forgets that Chris has a real job and therefore dropping a couple hundred on a laptop might not be such a big deal. Chris forgets Anwar is a broke ass college student and therefore a laptop is a huuuuuuge fucking deal, especially for a “just because” gift. Yeah, I would be like Anwar, I couldn’t accept such an expensive gift from someone who wasn’t a sibling or a lifelong friend, and they had a good reason to do so.
There’s a lot of wiggle room in giving someone a laptop. I tend to accumulate older bits of tech and sometimes restore them specifically for the purpose of giving them away. (It’s amazing how much better they run once you’ve dumped Windows and installed Linux, especially if you select the correct desktop version for the hardware!) Are these high end systems suitable for running the latest games? No, but they’re certainly get you back online and functioning well enough until you can afford higher-end hardware again. (At the least, you’ll be able to do that classwork you need to do!)
That’s sweet, awfully expensive for only being together 3 months. But thoughtful anyway. It also looks like the Dell I am using right now, if so Anwar’s in for more trouble than the first laptop lol (although mine is around 10 years old) :p
At least Anwar, unlike Ana, does put up a fight. This is a much too expensive gift. I might not even accept that from a friend, but in a relationship like Anwar and Chris have it, it is very inappropriate.
I hope, it’s an used one. That might be acceptable. Maybe.
Ooh *winces* I’m sure Chris had the best of intentions, but dropping something like that on someone (as a surprise gift with no discussion beforehand) isn’t necessarily the best idea.
Also, this might be a personal thing, but I tend to think of a laptop as something it’s better to choose yourself. It’s something I’m going to be using a lot; I want to be involved in the whole decision/buying process.
“You BOUGHT me a Laptop!? OMG You ARE my sugar daddy! D:”
“What? No I looted it!”
“Oh thank fuck!”
“HUZZAHS!”
Let the conspiracy theories begin!
(Really hope this argument ends well! D:)
Oxfam do second-hand refurbished laptops. Mine came with Windows Vista. I dumped that and tried Ubuntu, but the poor thing didn’t have enough RAM to cope with Ubuntu’s shiny Unity desktop, so I switched to Lubuntu, which runs fine. Really cheap. Battery comes without any guarantee, but that’s rarely a problem.
TRiG.
Mint XFCE is also a good choice for lower-powered computers, but I have no idea what it does to the battery life.
ALWAYS discuss giving someone a gift before you give it, if only to make sure you get them what they want.
I disagree. People are different. Some love to be surprised; some hate it.
TRiG.
I’d agree for something as big/expensive as a laptop, but maybe not necessarily in every case. I don’t think buying someone a new book or some perfume or something necessarily requires prior discussion, unless the other person prefers not to be surprised.
Kind of had a similar problem myself over Christmas.
It had been a really rough year for me last year and my brother in law had been enormously supportive. We’d often meet on Friday nights and watch films together and eat take out. Occasionally I’d talk too.
Towards the end of the year, I was finally able to return to work as a grossly overpaid locum and finally my bank balance was looking solid again. So solid, in fact, that I was able to buy a PS4 on Black Friday, with a view to giving it to my brother in law as a Christmas present. I had the presence of mind to talk to my sister about her husband’s new toy. She said that even though I could afford it, it would give him a severe case of Awks.
Then I had a brainwave. I gave him a controller for it instead and while the PS4 would technically be mine, it would be on indefinite loan to him at his place. Thus awkwardness was avoided and my brother in law and I spent Christmas butchering hordes of demons in Diablo III. ^_^
I used to be in chris’s situation. Back with my first BF I used to pay for all our dates because I can afford it (Family middle class + job) Whereas they were a poor college art student with only mum for support. So no biggie to me. Huge deal to them though. They felt insecure from it. Especially has some emotional issues as it “emasculated” them. Eventually it wound up being one of the reason’s we broke up.