I feel you Anwar unu. I remember once I wanted to just stay a queer person but a friend of mine was like “no maybe you’re just confused.” then proceeded to try to tell me I’m probably just a straight girl who doesn’t know what she really is.. (i believe I’m a gender fluid and queer person now though… It’s still difficult to label myself as anything at all.. )
If only I could hammer JD’s last line into everyone’s head that I know. I get so tired of people who say “I am _____ (label)” and then think they have to change to make sure the label fits right, instead of being who and what they genuinely are.
Exactly! I identify as demi sexual but thats only for me to find other people who feel the same was I do. It does not define me as a person or to the degree of which I am straight/demi/asexual. Love JD :-)
I really like JD’s comment about labels. It was liberating to find the demi-heterosexual identification for myself. It isn’t something I tell others, but I find peace with the understanding of it. Anwar has struggled to accept his asexuality that I can understand why he would be unnerved to be questioning it again. JD is a good friend and said just the right thing IMO.
Ok, now I guess I am unsure what Anwar is confused about? He’s asexual but not aromantic, he wants to make the one he loves happy and for him it’s all about love and feelings. I guess he is one of the ones who doesn’t realize sex and love are two different things?
I think he’s still struggling to get his head out of what society has told him he “should” be like, and what asexuals “should” do. He enjoys making Chris happy, but it’s not a sexual enjoyment – but because it was what most people would class as a sexual situation, he’s confused.
Listen to JD, ‘War, they know what they’re talking about!
Yeah, I mean there isn’t really social expectations of asexuals because they are rather a new thing (not the same as chosen celibacy as has been discussed) so I sort of gather he is basing this off of every movie or book you’ve ever seen that says when you love someone you fall passionately into their arms with flowers and rainbows and shit. JD rocks and has their head on tight, listen to them ‘war, they speak truth! Labels are just a short-hand way to introduce yourself without having to resort to 20 minutes exposition. Think of people with “blonde” hair, it can be anything from platinum to nearly brown, and I can think of several people with what I would call “light brown” hair who call themselves “blonde”. It’s all pretty subjective, have you ever heard people arguing over whether teal is green or blue?
Oh goodness me, yes. As far as contentious arguments go, defining ambiguous colours blows politics and sports out of the water.
It’s struck me that even though their labels are completely different (asexual cis dude v genderqueer highly-sexual kinkster), JD and ‘War are both in a similar position in that society in general looks at said labels and tells them “No, this thing you say you are? That’s not real, you’re just a confused *x*” Maybe this is one reason why their friendship is so strong, they’ve got that common ground.
BTW, anyone here read Cracked.com? They did an article yesterday titled “6 Weird Ways the World Looks Different When You’re Asexual”. The title is a little clickbaity, but the article itself is interesting and informative.
“labels just help you find other people like you, they aren’t perfect descriptions of the human condition”
I reaaaaally love that quote, I’ve been using it so often, from trying to explain my gender identity to comforting friends confused about their own sexuality/gender
that is a brilliant description of labels
I completly second that
I third it!
I feel you Anwar unu. I remember once I wanted to just stay a queer person but a friend of mine was like “no maybe you’re just confused.” then proceeded to try to tell me I’m probably just a straight girl who doesn’t know what she really is.. (i believe I’m a gender fluid and queer person now though… It’s still difficult to label myself as anything at all.. )
If only I could hammer JD’s last line into everyone’s head that I know. I get so tired of people who say “I am _____ (label)” and then think they have to change to make sure the label fits right, instead of being who and what they genuinely are.
Exactly! I identify as demi sexual but thats only for me to find other people who feel the same was I do. It does not define me as a person or to the degree of which I am straight/demi/asexual. Love JD :-)
I really like JD’s comment about labels. It was liberating to find the demi-heterosexual identification for myself. It isn’t something I tell others, but I find peace with the understanding of it. Anwar has struggled to accept his asexuality that I can understand why he would be unnerved to be questioning it again. JD is a good friend and said just the right thing IMO.
Just caught up. Love, love, love the last few pages. It’s ok, Anwar! It really is!
Rock on JD, rock on!
Ok, now I guess I am unsure what Anwar is confused about? He’s asexual but not aromantic, he wants to make the one he loves happy and for him it’s all about love and feelings. I guess he is one of the ones who doesn’t realize sex and love are two different things?
I think he’s still struggling to get his head out of what society has told him he “should” be like, and what asexuals “should” do. He enjoys making Chris happy, but it’s not a sexual enjoyment – but because it was what most people would class as a sexual situation, he’s confused.
Listen to JD, ‘War, they know what they’re talking about!
Yeah, I mean there isn’t really social expectations of asexuals because they are rather a new thing (not the same as chosen celibacy as has been discussed) so I sort of gather he is basing this off of every movie or book you’ve ever seen that says when you love someone you fall passionately into their arms with flowers and rainbows and shit. JD rocks and has their head on tight, listen to them ‘war, they speak truth! Labels are just a short-hand way to introduce yourself without having to resort to 20 minutes exposition. Think of people with “blonde” hair, it can be anything from platinum to nearly brown, and I can think of several people with what I would call “light brown” hair who call themselves “blonde”. It’s all pretty subjective, have you ever heard people arguing over whether teal is green or blue?
Oh goodness me, yes. As far as contentious arguments go, defining ambiguous colours blows politics and sports out of the water.
It’s struck me that even though their labels are completely different (asexual cis dude v genderqueer highly-sexual kinkster), JD and ‘War are both in a similar position in that society in general looks at said labels and tells them “No, this thing you say you are? That’s not real, you’re just a confused *x*” Maybe this is one reason why their friendship is so strong, they’ve got that common ground.
‘your previously un-burning loins’ = best line ever.
Best description of labels I have ever heard. I am using that forever
Wow, JD. That is so totally perfect and right spot on. ^_^
i like to say that labels aren’t prescriptive, they’re descriptive. :)
BTW, anyone here read Cracked.com? They did an article yesterday titled “6 Weird Ways the World Looks Different When You’re Asexual”. The title is a little clickbaity, but the article itself is interesting and informative.
Someone should let Anwar know that attraction and behavior can be two mutually exclusive things.
“labels just help you find other people like you, they aren’t perfect descriptions of the human condition”
I reaaaaally love that quote, I’ve been using it so often, from trying to explain my gender identity to comforting friends confused about their own sexuality/gender