Shades After 012
Whelp, that escalated quickly.
In artist news drawing cars is difficult, omg.
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O-kay, last argument I awarded the point to the mom, but we might have to go on overtime now.
Oh dear. I can see where that assumption might come up; having a relationship with a person that much older than you isn’t the most common thing and often looks like a “sugar daddy” situation (even if it isn’t) when you’re under 30. If it actually WAS a sexual relationship, though, I don’t quite understand why ‘War’s mom wouldn’t think maybe her son just like older men? Chris doesn’t LOOK as old as he really is, to me, so maybe a combination of mature looks and experience could draw a cutie like ‘War in.
I’m just glad ‘War isn’t angry at her assumption. Doesn’t look like he is, anyway.
Does anyone else hear his last line in a squeaky, indignant tone not normally heard once a male finishes puberty? Because that’s exactly how I heard it in my head when I read it.
I heard ‘War’s last line in my head like that too. XD
I totally heard it that way, too.
Even though I’m a thoroughly-finished-with-puberty female, I’ve had this conversation with my mum, and let me tell you, glass shattered.
That is… one HELL of conclusion to jump to, ‘War-mom. o____o; I’m having a lot of trouble sympathizing with her. I think at least some of it is cultural, me being from America and not knowing anyone who has issues with much wider age-gaps in relationships, but uh… You… You jumped right to prostitution and/or sugar daddy, did you, ma? Hhhhhuh.
I’m also in the USA, and some people have had problems with my being with an older man. Someone even took it up with my mom wanting to know why she’s “letting” me date someone older than me. As though it’s up to her…
Maybe we’re just in different parts of the states where people have different attitudes? In in the NW.
I wouldn’t have jumped quite so far, but I would have suspected some coercion. It’s not that far-fetched: Anwar is very shy, not very assertive, and exactly the type of person who could be bullied into a relationship he doesn’t really want. I mean, wasn’t that what happened with JD, sort of?
(I’m from Germany, and in fact, there are many couples with a wide age gap in my social circle, but still, if Anwar were my son, I would have asked him about that relationship. No yelling in public, obviously, because that’s just rude, but I would want to make sure he is in that relationship for the right reasons.)
So damn glad my folks are cool with my relationship’s age-difference.
Although this assumption is faaaar worse than any reaction I’d paranoidly predicted.
war’s mom reminds me of my mom. She grew up mostly in a heterosexual/sexual normal environment. While she can accept different sexual orientations toward other genders, the idea that there are people who aren’t sexual has never occurred to her. Only celibacy or fear could explain in the available categories that society has provided her. Even more so having a relationship who doesn’t fit into the “normal” categories of a relationship (a large age gap, dating a co-worker, etc.) could only be explained by money or power being involved, in her mind. While I don’t approve of her conclusions and how upset she is based on her conclusion, I can understand how she might have jumped to it.
My mom does the same thing. She accepts homosexuals, and tolerates bisexuals (she gets confused when a bi person dates different genders), she can’t comprehend someone that is non-sexual (in both the attraction and activity sense). So when I said I didn’t care about having sex with other people, she assumes the only two options that could be the reason: I’ve had bad sexual experiences and/or the guys I date are horrible. (which aren’t the only reasons, but it’s what is available to her.) -_-
Ah. I didn’t think of that, but it might actually make the conflict much easier to resolve. I know I am very suspicious of relationships with an age gap that big because I tend to suspect that the younger person is, in some way, taken advantage of.
If I were Anwar’s mom, the knowledge that Anwar is asexual and Chris is a submissive transvestite who accepts that, would make the whole thing easier to accept.
Sometimes, weirder things are easier to tolerate than more “normal” things.
Is there any parent on the planet whose life would be improved by knowing that their child is an asexual nonsexually dating a relatively straight middle aged transvestite who does scenes with ladies that beat him until he cries? Some stuff you don’t talk to your relatives about.
Here’s a better, genuine question: Does Anwar’s mum *need* to know about him being asexual? In my reading about asexuality, I never got why asexuals with romantic orientations would come out to family. For that matter, I personally know a few kinky people who felt the need to sit their parents down and “come out” about their kinks.
It looks to me like all War needs to explain to his mom is that yeah, he likes Chris. No, he’s never liked a middle aged man before, but Chris has never been a cradle robber or with a guy before, either. Love happens in weird ways sometimes. End of story.
ya, but I am worried that she won’t accept/tolerate the idea of asexual and submissive transvestite. let alone that her son and Chris are one. It might be too much knowledge for her to handle. Also personal reasons or social views of them will get in the way. If that happens then this will go from a misunderstanding/argument to a whole other level of mess and/or put a strain on Chris and wars relationship. T_T and I don’t like that at all.
Well, she said she could come to terms with gay, so I think she is pretty tolerant, or at least would try to be for the sake of her son.
I myself am rather shy and easily creeped out, and if I can think that Chris is cute and harmless, even moreso when wearing a dress, then so can she. I hope.
I think she’s lying about tolerating him being gay. What if Anwar was dating an older woman? Would she freak out? I doubt it.
Better question is… WHY DOESN’T HE STAND UP TO HER!? Anwar’s mother is being cruel, and Anwar isn’t saying what needs to be said.
“He’s a good man, and I’ll date whoever I want!”
Bam, problem solved.
Just curious, does Shades After still roughly parody the Shades of Grey books? If so, what part are we at now?
We are at the part where Christian turns up at Ana’s graduation party and meets her dad, I guess. And Anwar’s mom reacts in a more natural way than Ana’s dad did.
As a Canadian, I was confused by your weird backwards cars. But now that I’ve wrapped my head around that, the car look pretty good!
This moment (µsec actually) when I thought : hell, her wheel is at the wrong…… ho.. english. *palmface* lol
I understood the sentence globally but what does “some ones some man’s” mean. Is she that she doesn’t finish her sentence ? “some man’s….” ? or is it an expression I simply don’t know about ?
She started to say “someone’s” and then she corrected it to emphasise “some *man’s*”… and then she didn’t finish the sentence.
Thanks Rowanmikaio, it seems obvious now that you told me that haha. :)
Well, he was in the closet… if you’re going to have a relationship with someone, and keep that person in your personal life, then you ought to be out of the closet. Otherwise the familial relationship is just for show.
I suppose now Anwar has no choice but to come out of the closet.
Another problem I can see coming up is why War-Mama can only see an older man like Chris being interested in her son if it’s for sexual reasons, as opposed to actual compatibility. And the automatic assumption that Anwar is only ‘doing it’ because he’ getting paid. Because of course people are only interested in people of a different age group because of the money. Ugh. I hope it gets settled fast and less harmfully than it started.
For one, Anwar was in the closet. He’s never educated his mother about asexuality, so she doesn’t understand.
For two, she’s being incredibly homophobic. Like, she’s being very, very homophobic, but concealing it with other issues (age, money, etc.).
She’ll try to vilify Chris for anything from age, to gender, to social status, and so on. There’s not much that can be done about it.
I feel you man I feel you so much anwar
*sigh* why must it always jump to the sex place?
Seriously I want that last line on a shirt so I don’t have to repeat myself
A few thoughts here:
First, I think Anwar’s immaturity really shines through in the depiction of his relationship with his mother. She seems to coddle him- which I guess can be cultural and also specific to the family dynamic, and I very well might just be in the minority on this- but I think the huggy, cheek pinchy mother is much less cool and much more smothering.
For her to go off and make a scene like that, the absolute most unhealthy thing that can be done is go off and reinforce her behavior. Regardless of her good intentions and (understandable) shock and confusion. But Anwar ditches Chris and JD to go running off to Mummy, when the proper thing to do would have been for War to straight up give his mother a chance to cool down, digest the information she had been given and feel some shame for what she did, and then Anwar could sit her down and talk.
If Anwar was unwilling or unable to come out to his mother in private, then he should have had the brains to consider that maybe Chris and his family would bump into each other and been prepared to make a white lie. “Oh, this is my friend Chris.” It seems like this should be taught in Unconventional Romance 101.
Crikey Mumwar, you sound juuuuuust a tiny bit like my mum there. Older man doesn’t automatically mean ‘paying for it.’
Bless her though, she’s freaked out and she cares. Just can’t articulate it super well.
Totally familiar with that.
as a mum myself, i can understand the concern about any relationship my child is involved with. tho, i would start with wanting observe interactions, then if i had questions or concerns i would approach it. i have friends that when they question their children about anything, it’s the children that turn it into accusations and create mistrust. there are no perfect parents nor children. we just muddle along the best we can. sometimes we can get it sorted and other times it’s just more problems *sighs* poor wars mum. and poor war, this could have gone better with a planned meeting rather than a surprise gathering.