Shades After page 107
Chris understands that partners should never hold each other back, only push the other person to do better.
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I’m LOVING the gradient under Anwar’s cheekbones. Looking back, it’s been there for a while, I only just noticed it on this page.
As for the current storyline, …. Awwww oh nooooo. I don’t know what I would do in either of their situations. I tend to get clingy and not want to be away from my partner for ANYthing. … Just don’t leave anything up in the air, you two. Communicaatteeeee.
Wonder how much of that is due to subdrop, probably still adding the sufferer’s drama to Chris’s emotional overall state. Also unsure if a statement like this leaves any space for Anwar liking “no job” better than “no Chris” and cancelling the offer because HE wants to. He didn’t seem too enthusiastic hearing about the offer.
Then again, a job really solves “no job” issues at times (not necessarily, though).
long distance guys 8(
and yet, (in this and the previous update) their hands express as much as the words they say.
yep – tab has a way with expressing emotion without words in comics.
See here y’all, more communication. They ARE getting better at this. This is new and this takes practice but they’re getting there.
loving the character growth!! the art is fantastic! really showing the emotions.
Seems reasonable. I don’t see why anyone should have to compromise anything to be with someone else. Anwar should take this job.
I agree completely, if the relationship doesn’t work out you’ll eventually move on, but if you sacrifice your future that usually just leads to resentment and then the relationship fails anyway and you’re left with nothing.
That sounds like a really extreme standard. It seems to me that things like this should depend entirely on the people in the relationship. Sure, War and Chris are only dating, not even living together, but if a job offer came up that would require moving, I can’t imagine ending my existing relationships for it, even if it was the best job imaginable. My partners feel the same. Then again, we own a home together and are raising kids together so we’re far more entangled, but still, just because he’s been looking for a job for a while doesn’t mean another wouldn’t necessarily turn up or that taking the job is the best move for him. All in all, it’s up to the individuals involved to decide what works best for them.
For me, I’d probably go do the job. I might try to make long-distance work. But I’d take the job for sure. My career matters to me A LOT. But I think that’s something that will vary from person to person. What matters, I think, is communicating that clearly to a partner. I told my boyfriend on our first date that, someday, there’s a very good chance I’ll have to move for my job. He said that his job is probably gonna be relatively easy to find anywhere, so if we got that far, that would be fine.
Well yeah, your situation is very different. You are, as you put it, entangled in your relationships. But for someone who doesn’t have any of those responsibilities I should see no reason to sacrifice or compromise anything for them.
Thing is, either way, a sacrifice is being made. Either he’s giving up a relationship, giving up the proximity that many relationships require to work or giving up the job. While the job may seem like a much more important thing than the relationship, if he could see himself just as entangled in a few years with Chris, it could be worth it to War to pass on the job. There are always going to be other jobs and other relationships and other of just about every opportunity. No two people are going to value them identically.
The question is whether Anwar will be happier without Chris or without the job, and that’s Anwar’s decision to make. It’s good that Chris is saying this stuff now if only to make sure there’s no pressure on Anwar to reject the job for *Chris’s* sake, but so long as Anwar understands that it’s himself he needs to think of, he should be left to make the decision himself now. If anything, I think he might be happier staying put than in London – if nothing else, the heterosexist environment of his workplace at the publisher, and knowing he was offered the job in the first place because of heterosexism, is likely to detract from his happiness there
As an ace who formerly had a boyfriend across the country, LDR is more than do-able. It will have downsides (Chris missing the limited sexual contact Anwar is comfortable with and both of them losing out on cuddles), but it’s nowhere near as hard as people make it out to be. Hell, Chris can take the kids to visit.
I think this is one of those ymmv sort of situations. Some people, regardless of their sexuality, can work in a long distance situation. Some can’t. Personally, I think that it would be really hard on them considering how insecure they both are.
Here we see the difference between younger and immature, and older and world-wise. Time and experience teaches you a lot of painful lessons. It took a divorce for Chris to learn this particular lesson, and he won’t make the same mistake twice. That’s not a decision many would make without a lot of maturity.
Tab, If this doesn’t end up with them both moving to London and ‘War supporting Chris till he gets a job, I WILL find you
LOL!!
Chris’s time with his kids is already pretty limited. Seems like expecting him to move away from them is pretty unreasonable.
Either LDR or simply staying close friends who visit sometimes seems pretty okay and doable, but honestly? What I want the most is for them to have another conversation about this tomorrow (or later!) when they’re both not so keyed up. It’s good to be having this talk! But it’s even better to have this talk in more than one sitting and with a little time to process.
Chris hates his job, this is a good opportunity to look for a different one. I dunno how far he’d want to move from his kids though?
Absolutely what I was thinking- it’s a potential opportunity, but the cost of being far from his kids may simply be more than he can pay.
This reminds me of a situation with an ex of mine.
Even after we broke up we stayed friends and still lived together, but one day she got an offer from one of her friends in Chicago to move in with them. If she left I’d be alone, but I’d just recently herniated my back and couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t wind up injured again if I came with her.
So, I told her to go and I stayed behind in this little rural town in Kentucky.
She’d always been a city girl, grew up in LA, and I was sad to see her go but… well… I keep up with her on Facebook and I see her with all the friends she made out there and the new life she has and it tells me I made the right choice. If I’d gone with her we’d have stuck together for most of it and she probably wouldn’t have met these guys.
I’m glad she went, living in Chicago has made her happier than I ever could have.
It’s not as easy as Chris moving to London with Anwar – he has children, remember? LDR with Anwar will be easier than LDR with his daughters.
Also – why suddenly so negative? You [both] can do LDR for a while, Anwar takes his training, works, gets promotion and seeks relocation to [story’s place].
Btw, how do we promounce ‘Anwar’? I do it Polish way without thinking: ah, n, v, ah, r.
I think anwar is an-ware jut that’s just what I think.tab probably can confirm.
I pronounce it like an-warrr, hence the nickname ‘war.
The pronunciations seem to vary (I found examples of both AN-war and AHN-war), but the second A is definitely an ‘ah’/’uh’ sound like war, not ware.
There’s also a few videos pronouncing it for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmmTqcMWfe0
I think I’ve heard it pronounced phonetically, ie ANwaaa~. But I can’t remember who was talking, so if it was a native English speaker then they might just have been making the same assumptions I’d default to anyway
The eyes!!! <3
And yes, I just let my girlfriend go so that we could both be happy in our own ways apart. I look forward to us finding ourselves and supporting each other as friends in the future.