Shades Of A 072
This page is my equivalent of the ‘contract scene’ in 50 shades of grey. Of all the things in the book that made me most angry it was this- Christian Grey literally gives Anna a contract and tells her that these are the rules if they want to fuck. Anna objects and insists on negotiations, but most of the book is about her fighting back against things like ‘The submissive must eat healthy meals, exercise 3 times a week and only wear clothing approved by the Dominant’, while Grey throws manipulative hissy fits.
I recommend people check out this excellent little comic on sex negotiations, even if it’s for romance negotiations!
http://www.webcomicsnation.com/maisha/sextalk/series.php?view=single&ID=175622
Well, at least he’s not throwing a fit. That is a question that comes up between asexual people with sexual partners… I’ve dealt with it before. It’s simple really, just respect their sexuality as they respect yours. Sex doesn’t have to be that important. It really doesn’t. :)
I do hope that Chris doesn’t mean to suggest that Anwar should have kinky sex with him in exchange for the romance.
The question can – I hope – only be whether Chris gets to do his kinky fuckery with others, or whether Anwar ties him up in a non-sexual way.
It’s probably the last two things. Just a general “so what about this”, I’m guessing.
Saying “joking aside” does seem rude though; like Anwar’s desires in the relationship aren’t valid, because they’re not sexual desires. :/
I think it’s more that they WERE joking before, or at least talking in a joking manner about the kinky fuckery, and now Chris wants to seriously discuss the matter and get actual answers because it’s important.
I think this interpretation is correct, as they started the conversation joking because both felt very awkward about it. Now that they’ve broken the ice, Chris needs to know what Anwar wants him to do about it. Chris is quite obviously saying that it’s up to Anwar to make that choice.
Or the “Contract accepted” bit, that’s what I took as a joke.
He could have meant his request for foot rubs with “joking”. I can’t imagine he would describe Anwar’s desires as such. After all, this, unlike Fifty Shades of Grey, does seem to be a romance. With a love interest who actually is desirable.
My take on “joking” was a combination of the initial way they approached this (Anwar teasing the Chris didn’t have room to talk, being straight and liking to be tied up by women) as well as some of their romance talk (not wanting the horseback riding, and that being exchanged for ice skating) which came off pretty light while discussing the more serious “what is romancing” question.
I’m glad Chris did bring this back up, given how Anwar was responding to JD’s involvement with their sluts (their words). If Anwar has some issues with that, and isn’t really with or romancing JD, Chris legitimately needs to be sure how Anwar would feel about him being tied or having anything physical (or even emotional) with a woman at the same time.
*incoherent sounds* The only thing I don’t like is the wait for pages. I want to see what happens next cuz Anwar aas being honest about his wants and needs, and now they need to communicate how to satisfy Chris’s wants and needs as well. Hqppy couple, please~
Anwar was being**
Happy couple**
What pissed me off even more than the existence of the ridiculously unreasonable and controlling contract and Grey’s hissy fits was the fact that people seemed to think that Ana was really strong and empowered just because she complained about some of his demands. She still caved to most of the contract and let Grey treat her like total shit. It was really disturbing to me how many people saw her as a good role model. Blegh.
Maybe, they saw her as good role model, because they themselves are even more extreme doormats? From that point of view, she might be.
Although, honestly, I think Tess of D’Urbervilles is a better role model than Ana. And considering when “Tess” was written, that’s a bit sad.
In a way it’s worse when people like Thatcher are held up as role models; she succeeded in being more male than men (she took lessons and everything. Seriously!) whereas I prefer heroine’s like Xena. I mean, I know she’s over the top (and far from perfect) but she doesn’t spend all the time thinking about romance but she is still a female and acts itl.
Anyway rant over; the issue of gender sexuality is a continuously expanding arena and should be left alone here for now. This is about asexuality (and is really good at it – way to go Tab!)
At being a total pushover? Anna is definitely worse. I read Tess on an AP exam and completely hated the character. But not as much as I hated Anna.
You hated Tess? Really? I found her pretty sympathetic … the author did a good job at showing that she saw no other option, each time she turned to her rapist for help.
Whereas Ana … Ana is a modern-times student who has all the possibilities, but decides to not call the police.
aww, i wanted to see horseback riding :D
Anwar asked what he wanted, now it’s Chris’ turn. Fair.
Uh, that Sextalk comic is sound, I guess, but it’s like the “Do not digest” notice in detergent.
And yet the notice still needs to be there. Think about why.
For people to act condescending?
Because rape still happens, at least 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted during their lives and 70% of that will be people known to the victim.
Educating people on what counts as rape and what is okay is the only thing known to reduce these levels.You may think it’s common sense, and I’m preaching to the converted here, but a startling number of people, especially teenagers don’t know this because it’s never been explained to them.
…Okay. *bows head*
1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted–usually in childhood. Sorry just had to put it out. Part of the reason sexual violence (and domestic violence period) exist is bc of the very inaccurate view only women are victims and men aggressors. This is very untrue on both accounts and allows abuse cycles to continue indefinitely. I say this as an abuse survivor–having witnessed it in 3 generations of my family and having to make the most painful but best decision to walk away from them for the sake of my child. I have also had close friends who have been there…both women and men. :(
The male statistic varies from country to country which is why I didn’t want to include it- I wanted to say 1 in 4 PEOPLE but that’s an estimate I’d be making up by merging the 1/3 of women and 1/6 of men. I’d prefer to go with a lower estimate than to feel like I’m sensationalising.
As someone who wrote Jamie’s story trust me when I say I know rape is a universal issue. I didn’t say it was men doing the assault, just that it was people known to them.
The main thing I think that sucks is the lack of resources for male survivors- many services are women only and while I understand the need for female safe spaces; I hurt for the men and non binary individuals who are denied help when they need it most.
Well said Tab. I often see those ads for safe spaces for women, networks for women etc. who fell victim to sexual assaults, but none for men. It may be hard to understand for most people, but they are always like a slap in the face. It is great that they exist, but the serious lack of help for non-female victims is a big problem. And as a result if you are/were a non-female victim of sexual assault, those ads don’t read as ‘We want to help’, but as ‘There is help – just not for you.’.
What bothered me a lot is that even though Christian was saying that it was a D/s contract, it was actually more along the line of a Master/slave contract, which can have an intensely different dynamic. And as much as he kept saying that he wanted her to get educated on BDSM, he never actually encouraged her, but rather said he was the be all, end all of BDSM knowledge, and then, to top it all off, he tries to pass off his abuse as BDSM.
Sorry. Love the comic, and I’m ecstatic that you’re creating this comic, and actually having the people involved being healthy, and starting healthy relationships.
It was def a slave contract. 24/7 and complete control over a persons life down to the food they eat outside of scenes isn’t always M/s (I know plenty that aren’t!) but the wording and intense “No you WILL do this” is more M/s than D/s (in what I have seen, again, can be wrong.) Even in M/s relationships, there are *boundaries* of some form (sometimes/depends on the person or persons), whether it’s “I really hate broccoli” or “I despise anal”, negotiated beforehand. And no matter the contract, if they choose to end it… it’s over. Anything past negotiated limits or them saying “I’m gone” can be (is, imho) rape.
/rant
“Anything past negotiated limits or them saying “I’m gone” can be (is, imho) rape.”
It is rape in my not-at-all-humble opinion, too.
Oh, the “anal” part in FSoG made me sooooo angry! That was really something about which she said “hm, I’d rather not” (anal and anal fisting) and he was “okay, so no anal fisting. BUT I’M GOING TO CLAIM YOUR ASS”. The whole idea of the talk was to find out what she didn’t like/didn’t want! In the end, she was okay with it, but it would have been better if she would have said: “hey, I want to go back to the contract, maybe add some stuff to do.” No, he just ignores her fear. It made me almost as angry as the constant use of the word ‘murmer’. (I lost my copy because a friend borrowed it, so no direct quotes available, sorry.)
ps: thanks for the link to pervocracy some time ago, I love it <3)
And not just that. After he agreed to no anal, he gets “ben wa balls” (which they’re not, btw), and applies them rectally. Which she said was a hard limit for her. *Hades-style raging*
I agree wholeheartedly. I don’t have any problem with “kinky fuckery” when all involved parties have negotiated their hard and soft limits. But Christian forces her to sign an NDA (which he breaks chronically), pretty much tells her the contract is legally binding, and that her feelings on the matter don’t. *Then*, after she says anal’s a really hard limit, he does anal play on her without her consent, and she just goes with it because she’s too scared to do anything other than go with it.
What bothers me more than anything is the language Ana uses is EXACTLY what victims of abuse say, but ELJ tries to play it off like Ana’s and Christian’s relationship is the pinnacle of healthy.
Sorry about that. *goes off to snarl in a corner*
Don’t apologize. I’m writing a novel that is my response to the hate of 50 Shades so… no apologies, yo. It deserves all the hate, always, forever.
Everytime I read “kinky fuckery”, I hear Charles Dance.
Hahaha, Big Fat Quiz gives some lobstrominus quotes for the year.
I totally didn’t connect the comment “I have magic hands” to the footrub request for a moment. I thought Anwar was making some kind of spell-like announcement:
“By the power of my magic hands – lo, this contract is now binding!”
Anwar looks like he’s the same age as Chris in the first panel.
Wrinkles are awkward! I look at my face and there’s lots of lines where I move it about yet I still appear young- but if I drew that on a character they’d look ancient.
Finding the balance between expression and character features (especially as Anwar has lined eyes) is a tricky one- hopefully I’ll sink into it better the more I draw older people.
I think perhaps making the line from Anwar’s mouth shorter could make him look a little younger? Not sure, though.
Open relationship maybe? That’s what my partner and I have. :V I’M SO CURIOUS.
We’re all curious! If we’re lucky, we’ll get the answer on Monday. (You have a very special name.)
Aw, the link doesn’t work any more :(